Food! Glorious Food!
Just for a moment, let me take you back to a time long ago, some 58 years, when I was young, and hungry. If you had taken part in the greatest invasion the World had ever seen, then you would recall the food that we had to sustain us in the early hours of the invasion? Well! If that is so, then you cannot use the term "enjoy", when referring to the food. Oh no! "Endure" would be a better term!

I remember very well, and not with any sense of warm nostalgia I might add!

For your information. We had been issued with a very thick and dark block of chocolate, contained in a brass tin; a sort of "Iron ration" this was an emergency ration to be kept for the time when nothing else was available, for many of us, that was quickly eaten before we reached Normandy. (I mean for heaven's sake!) Chocolate was a luxury.

To provide food for ourselves in the early hours of the invasion, we had been issued with a small camping stove constructed of wire, with a tray under for a solidified block of white mythelated spirits. This was our only heating and food source until the main invasion supply force arrived and set up the "Compo" food system.

For those of you fortunate enough not to have to endure this early food! Then, just try to imagine dear reader, what it was like! You have dug your fox hole, hunched down in the bottom of it, while all around you the war was at its height, shell and mortar fire that sometimes straddled your area, and you, a very green, 19 year old and innocent Dorset lad, scared out of your wits, sitting in the bottom of your dirty little fox hole, starving hungry. The Enemy shelling had already deprived you of one of your Billy cans and your knife and fork, with just the spoon and one Billy can left. You hunch down, trying to fill your billy can with a half a cup of water from your water bottle to start your first meal.

Next, you placed into the billy can of water, a very peculiar, unpleasant and hard, rectangular shaped, "brownish" block of what was described as, "dehydrated mince meat", eventually, after many attempts, you manage to light the so called tablet of "fuel", then, desperately stirring the grey mess with your commando knife, as the tiny little flame flickered and struggled against impossible odds to heat and reconstitute the meal. After some considerable time, all hope of a hot meal vanished, in desperation, and with your spoon, you eat this half cooked, brownish grey food with the lumps still in it.

Oh! Lord. What a horrible mess. But now, having hungrily devoured the lumpy, half-cooked meat, the next part of the menu was to make some tea. Putting a cup full of water into the same billy can, (not enough water to wash it first), we then added a small brown and white speckled cube, this magic little cube was reputed to be, dehydrated milk, sugar and tea. On reflection, I still have serious doubts about its composition! Again the same procedure as the tiny little flame flicked and spluttered in the wind with precious little chance of heating anything. Desperately stirring this brown and white speckled mess, while a disgusting film of grease floated on top of the water, all the while this horrible mess was giving a very poor imitation of a cup of tea. In the end, in despair of ever heating the water, the resulting mess of grey, brown and white speckled luke warm water, was drunk, with the unheated bits dry on the tongue. YUK! I have never in my life tasted anything like that, before or since. Ah! Dear reader, they say you will eat anything if you are hungry enough, in this case it was true.

Unfortunately! Ah yes, unfortunately! This revolting brownish mess that you had eaten, before it had been properly reconstituted, then continued to expand and swell within your stomach, with the most unfortunate and dire results. Constipation! Oh Lord. Constipation so severe it made your ears ring, it was bad enough for these totally green and sea sick young men to be thrown in against an experienced, and battle hardened Enemy, but now we had to do battle with the added burden of our own tummy's.
The results of this still expanding "Meat" clogged the system and made your ears buzz and your eyes pop, eventually, when at long last the call of nature came, (Golly! at last, at long last.) nothing was going to be allowed to interfere, nothing! It did not matter if the whole Bloody German army with the 21st SS Panzer division, or the 1st SS Leibstandarte Adolf Hitler Panzer Division. (Hitlers Personal SS Amoured Guards) came charging over the horizon and in the lead!
Now then! Shall I ever forget that salvation came in this lovely field of green French cabbages, on the side of a North facing hill, exposed to the whole bloody invasion fleet!

I would be pleased to hear your comments about this episode?
Sapper