Fred,
I can't help you on the other issues, that's for Otto to deal with but I can at least assist with the smilies:
If you click to reply with this small button on the bottom right of a post:
You get a plain text box with no smilies.
If, however you click on this to reply :
(or click 'go advanced' below the posting box)
You get a few smilies to choose from (click 'more' below the smilies to see the entire huge selection. It opens in a new tab.)
The smilies below the posting box will crop up in the posts header, see lightbulb above.
Also be sure to check your user cp. Go to 'User CP'>'edit options' and set the final box to 'enhanced interface - Full WYSIWYG editing' which gives you the most complete set of tools.
Hope that helps a little.
Cheers,
Adam.
(oh yes, you can indeed choose your own avatar from wherever)