Classified: TOP SECRET - BIGOT
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Dossier: Operation PanzerPenguin
Picture:
Description: The following information has been collected over the past few years, it comprises all current knowledge on one of the most dangerous operatives on the planet. It is a compilation of interviews, classified files, and first-hand accounts. Lives have been lost gathering this information and in sharing this information. Read on if you have nothing to fear from the intrepid
PanzerPenguin.
Profile:
- Name: Real Name: Unknown. (Known Aliases:der PanzerPenguin, PP, Emperor Slayer, der TrollJeager, Saviour, The One.)
- Occupation:: Internet Troll Destroyer, Panzer Leader, Freedom Fighter
- Base of Operations: Subject resides "Somewhere in Antarctica" in his glacial redoubt Festung Panzer.
- Current Location: Unknown. Subject is known to operate in Chicago, USA. Other unconfirmed reports place the subject in Beltring, UK once a year.
- Marital Status: Unknown.
- Race: Blue Penguin, (Eudyptula minor).
- Sex: Male.
- Age: Unknown.
- Description: Accurate information is unavailable at this time. Subject is approximately 18 Inches in height. White feathers on chest/front, blue feathers on back, head, flippers (wings). Subject has been seen in two distinct kits: 1) a Fieldmarshall's cap, red scarf and monocle (see above photo). 2) In combat subject dons what appears to be a German M1935 Stahlhelm and large chrome Sunglasses.
- Battle Cry: "Phear der PanzerPenguin!" (Also appears in text form as "PdPP!")
- Favorite Food: Crab, lobster, orange Fanta.
- WARNING: der PanzerPenguin is armed and extremely dangerous! If spotted, do not approach him, report his presence to the nearest military authority. Confronting der PanzerPenguin is extremely dangerous, your safety is not guaranteed! be aware that his often armed with the following:
- A Combat Dagger
- Luger
- MP-40 Submachinegun
- Chaingun/Minigun
- Panzerfaust
- An assortment of portable, hand (flipper) deliverable explosive devices. This includes satchel charges, mines and most notably several German Model 24 Stielhandgranate "potato masher" hand grenades.
Additional Information (A): As mentioned previously,
der PanzerPenguin tends to have two distinct outfits. In combat he has been identified as wearing a helmet and chrome sunglasses. While in rear areas, subject usually wears an officers hat, monocle and a bright red scarf. Subject has been seen without any of these items, or with combinations or with just one piece (just chrome sunglasses for example), but he has never been seen wearing items not on this list.
Additional Information (B): der PanzerPenguin is an expert in the handling maintenance and effective use of any and all Armored Fighting Vehicles. Typically, he employs captured vehicles, all of which are marked with the now famous twin p's "
PP" in white somewhere on the vehicle.
History and Background Information
Authors Introduction: To this day,
der PanzerPenguin remains shrouded in lore and myth, and countless legends and rumors about him exist on the World War II Forums. Amongst the grizzled "Rogues" of said website
der PanzerPenguin is seen as an avenging entity who's draconian measures are accepted as par for the course. Some Rogues believe that the mantle of
PanzerPenguin is passed down from generation to generation. That is to say that the position of
der PanzerPenguin is passed down from Generation to Generation and that the current
PanzerPenguin is not the original. However, there has been no evidence in support of this theory, and there is no reason to believe that the current
PanzerPenguinis not the original vigilante. The following information is true as far as i have been able to discover. I have interviewed countless Blue Penguins and Emperor Penguins, Penguins claiming to be relatives of
der PanzerPenguin, and even an Internet Troll whom was breathing his last after a reported encounter with
der PanzerPenguin. As more information comes to light about
der PanzerPenguin, it will be added to this report. I assume full responsibility for what is written hereafter.
Part 1: The Early Years
Blue Penguins are known to chiefly inhabit slightly warmer climates then the Antarctic. The smallest of the Penguins, Blue Penguins have historically been at the bottom of the penguin pecking Order. Who might be at the top? The Emperor Penguins of course! Emperor Penguins - large, egotistical, controlling, pompous - have long reigned supreme in the penguin world of the Antarctic. Or so it has appeared to us mere humans. There is an important, little known History of the Antarctic that we are only beginning to understand.
It all started in a tiny Blue Penguin village one sunny, warm day. (A Warm Day in the Antarctic would still be a freezing day to most other creatures). It was a hatching day and a new generation of Blue Penguins were born. Among them, the only one of his family to survive childhood (his parents having accidentally trampled his siblings),
der PanzerPenguin was destined for greatness. For years there had been a Legend amongst the Blue Penguins that the orphan child of parents killed by a Sea Lion would lead a rebellion against the Emperor Penguins and free the Blue Penguins from their servitude! Little did he know, but
der PanzerPenguin was the Chosen One.
Hardly a year old but able to provide for himself,
der PanzerPenguin was not a typical Blue Penguin. He seemed very at home with his solitude, unlike other Blue Penguins. He was able to fish, albeit for squid and jellyfish as the Emperors horded the Crustaceons for themselves. He was generally friendly with neighboring colonies of Blue Penguins but all that was to change. One fateful winters day, his parents were caught eating Crab. The Emperor Penguins would not stand for this and sentenced them to death by Sea Lion.
der PanzerPenguin never got a chance to say goodbye to his beloved parents, their sentence carried out before word of it even reached him. It would be something the Emperor Penguins would live to regret.
Almost immediately
der PanzerPenguin changed. It was this pivotal moment that set him on the course that would lead him to change Penguin history FOREVER!
Part II: Operation PanzerPenguin
The Death of his parents forever changed
der PanzerPenguin. The quiet, calm facade was replaced with one of utter seriousness. The death of his parents meant only one thing for him:
WAR.
der PanzerPenguin studied books on Panzer Tactics and Blitzkrieg Warfare at the local Antarctic Library and manged to secure suitable weapons from hidden Nazi caches in the hollow earth, which is accessible via the Antarctic. He managed to do this in secrecy and became very proficient with the aforementioned weapons.
(See the above profile for a list of his weapons)
At this point,
der PanzerPenguin began to recruit fellow Blue Penguins to his cause. All of them had suffered under the yoke of Emperor oppression. No Blue Penguin family was left untouched by the cruelty of the Emperor Penguins. These recruits formed a very elite unit of Penguins and gave the name -
PanzerPenguin - to their leader. Their motto became: "Phear
der PanzerPenguin!" a phrase that still strikes fear into the hearts of Emperor Penguins even to this day!
The Emperor Penguins failed to see this Blue Penguin rebellion until it was too late.
der PanzerPenguin launched the very first attack from his birthing-place, completely over-running the Emperor Penguin Forces in the area. The Emperors believed this to be a minor revolt and sent additional troops to quell it. They let their false belief in superiority over-rule their senses but even so there would have been little that they could have done to stop the rise of the Blue Penguins.
der PanzerPenguin utilized tactics that were identical to those that the Germans employed in their attacks against Poland and France, steamrolling everything that the numerically superior Emperor Penguins could throw at them. They ambushed lines of Emperor Penguins, secured feeding grounds through covert operations and then held onto them until Panzers could arrive.
The War only lasted 16 Days and would be forever known as the Penguin Wars. At its end, on Christmas Day, the Antarctic Penguin Peace Pact was signed by the Emperor Penguins in Defeat, the Blue Penguins in Victory. It placed all penguins on equal footing, gave rights to all Penguins to vote for the leadership of the penguin colonies, gave all penguins equal access to feeding grounds, and abolished the oppressive Penguin Empire, (aka the Fourth Penguin Reich). This was a great victory for all penguins, and
der PanzerPenguin was hailed as a hero. The Penguins wanted to elect him their leader but he refused, retiring to a secret outpost now that justice had been served. But there was still justice to serve through out the world, and the little Blue Penguin known as
der PanzerPenguin was out to do something about it!
Part III: The Present Day
After the Penguin Wars,
der PanzerPenguin felt like something was missing from his life. And no, it wasn't a Mrs.
PanzerPenguin that he was missing. It was...the fury of combat! He loved the feel of the cool metal of an MP 40 under his hand, the vibrations of Panzer shaking his tiny little body. But he didn't want to conquer the world, like Adolf Hitler or Napoleon. No, he wanted to spread Justice through out the lands.
Sightings of
der PanzerPenguin have generally been reported in zones of conflict, always fighting against the 'Evil' sides that seek to oppress the innocent. Its only been in more recent years that
der PanzerPenguin has taken on a more passive but important role in dealing out justice.
He soon learned about the importance of the Internet and decided that it would be his new battlefront against the forces of Evil. He realized that the Internet would give him access to all manners of things but also bring him in contact with people deemed evil. Thus began
der PanzerPenguin's days of Troll Hunting, trying to rid the web of the vile creatures.
In early 2000,
der PanzerPenguin came in contact with Herr Otto for the very first time. Herr Otto was under attack by Hackers and things were looking rather grim until
der PanzerPenguin came to his rescue, guns blazing. The Hackers were soon dealt with and Herr Otto and
der PanzerPenguin became instant friends. Herr Otto offered
der PanzerPenguin a permanent job on WW2F.com, where he would be able to continue his war on Trolls of all types - Hackers being one breed - while also partaking in his love of 1940's Era History.
der PanzerPenguin was convinced and took up full residency on the WWII Forums and was soon welcoming two of the first Members - and Moderators - of the Forums: Peppy and Mussolini.
*Note: It was in these early days that he christened these three seminal Rogues of the WWII Forums with their titles: Mussolini the "
Wargaming Boffin," Otto the "
Iron Gröfaz" (Größter Forumherr aller Zeiten = Greatest Forum Commander of all Time) and "
Generalissimus" Peppy.
* Other members would later be chistened as well, including "
the Twin Fist of Nazi Smashing" Za Rodinu & Sloniksp, Erich the "
Old Sage," "
Kenraali" Kai-Petri and "
Acting Wing Commander" Martin Bull.
Part IV: Epilogue
der PanzerPenguin has become a world class Troll-Hunter, feared around the globe for his 'no-nonsense' attitude and grim determination to rid the net of Trolls. Blue Penguins around the world revere him as a God amongst their kind. Emperor Penguins still fear his name, knowing how efficiently they were dealt with. Few dare to stand up to
der PanzerPenguin; those that do are swiftly dealt with.
Even with his all-business demeanor, der PanzerPenguin has become a much loved member of the Forums, especially amongst the members of the OKF that he has come in contact with on more then one occasion. der PanzerPenguin is some one both to be feared and to be loved. Those that get on der PanzerPenguin's bad side often 'disappear', never to be seen or heard from again.
When talking to der PanzerPenguin make sure you don't call him 'a Little Blue Penguin' or 'a Fairy Penguin', as Blue Penguins are commonly referred to. Nothing ruffles his feathers more then being called a 'Fairy Penguin'. It is rumored that the very first Troll he vanquished actually insulted der PanzerPenguin by calling him a 'Fairy Penguin'. He can become very temperamental if he even hears the word 'Fairy'.
Rare Footage and Images of der PanzerPenguin in action!
der PanzerPenguin Troll Hunting in typical attire.
der PanzerPenguin training with his Chain Gun.
der PanzerPenguin on Patrol in his favored vehicle of choice.
The last thing a Troll sees when der PanzerPenguin comes to town.
der PanzerPenguin's Infamous Battlecry.
A typical Trolls Nightmare - he's coming for you!
der PanzerPenguin in ACTION!:
Operation PanzerPenguin
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