saddam hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his phone rang.

"Hello, Mr. hussein!", a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing you to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," saddam replied, "this is indeed important news! How big is your army?" "Right now, said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, mu cousin Sean, my nextdoor neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!" saddam paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command;" "Begorra!", said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!" Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again, "Mr. hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some Infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" saddam asked.

"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor." saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke."

"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll get back to you." Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Harrigan's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"

saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 1,000 bombers and 2,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"The Saints, Mary, and Joseph!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back." Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. hussein! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?" "Well, said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners."
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God bless the Europeans!


[ 28. December 2002, 04:34 PM: Message edited by: C.Evans ]

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Lost are only those, who abandon themselves) Hans-Ulrich Rudel.

ROFL

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HAHA

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Never, never, never believe any war will be smooth and easy, or that anyone who embarks on the strange voyage can measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter. The statesman who yields to war fever must realize that once the signal is given, he is no longer the master of policy but the slave of unforeseeable and uncontrollable events. -- Sir Winston Churchill

[ 31. December 2002, 09:05 AM: Message edited by: CrazyD ]

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Seriously, all today is missing is free cotton candy and the annual Bay State Hooker Parade to make it any better.

Carl, it's great! I am still laughing!

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"War is less costly than servitude, the choice is always between Verdun and Dachau." - Jean Dutourd, French veteran of both world wars

"A mon fils: depuis que tes yeux sont fermes les miens n’ont cessé de pleurir." - Mère française, Verdun

Good one Carl!!!!

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I like that

Jet

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And when he gets to heaven
To Saint Peter he will tell
One more soldier reporting sir
I have served my time in hell

Nice one Carl!

Best regards/ Daniel

Ha ha!!

Thanks guys--glad the air has thinned a bit on the forums

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Lost are only those, who abandon themselves) Hans-Ulrich Rudel.