213 Things Skippy is No Longer Allowed to do in the US Army

Found something funny...

 

Cracked me up!

 

Very funny - I felt it hard to supress my laughter, while reading this at work

 

funny stuff

 

My mouth got twice as wide and my laughing muscles are now the most highly trained muscles of my body. :lol: Thank you Notmi!

 

The person who came up with this is sick...I had to maintain a lot of self-control while reading this, because it's not considered good form to explode with laughter in the public library. I must say that number 19 is wrong, though: God *can* contradict any order He chooses to!

Correction, that's #17, not 19 that was wrong. Sorry about that.

 

Actually, that throws up an interesting point - the Nuremburg trials after WW2 based most of its convictions on the idea that the German soldiers should not have obeyed orders...

Admittedly these were orders aimed at wiping out a good-sized chunk of the human race.

 

I don't think a soldier should distnguish between orders, because in any possible way this will always interfere with his efficiency as a soldier. SO those of the lower ranks who committed war crimes because they were ordered to, I can forgive them.

 

Any order to commit an atrocity is an unlawful order, Roel; the soldier's duty would be to disobey any such order. I was taught that when I was in the Navy, and as far as I know it is still taught to American troops. Of course, not all of them listen, since in any large organization you're going to get a few bad apples.

 

Must agree with you ' i was only obeying orders' is no defence.

However, there is the distinction of maintaining the shock off capture, which is an interrogation techinque and it is close to torture.

I.E. stress positions. The big problem in Iraq is taking photo's is bl**dy stupid.

 

Yeah. I hope they throw the book at those idiots, and throw it HARD! :angry:

 

Getting back to the orders thing, in the British military we are taught that if I as a SNCO tell a lower rank to shoot someone I will only be prosecuted for aiding and abetting, He/She will be prosecuted for murder if it is an unlawful killing.

 

Many of you have probably come across a version of this but it is worth repeating


Rules of the Air

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.

5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.

7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.

8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.

9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.

11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.

12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.

13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.

14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made.

15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.

18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.

19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.

20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.

21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.

22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.

23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.

24. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.

 

Gold! Gold! Thank you Ebar!

 

yeah that is a very nice one indeed, Ebar. Thanks a lot!

 

Wonderful, Ebar!!! I'll be passing that along to some friends of mine; they'll get a kick out of it, I'm sure!

 

Oh, Gawd! Make it stop! It hurts! I haven't laughed that hard in months!

Many thanks!!!

 

Some random thoughts and observations


1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some of us just don't
have film.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.


3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.


4. On the other hand, you have different fingers.


5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending
machine.


6. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar
territory.


7. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of
it.


8. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who
don't.


9. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel
universe.


10. He's not dead. He's electronencephalographically
challenged.


11. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you
say will be misquoted then used against you.


12. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be
without sponges.......


13. Honk if you love peace and quiet.


14. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how
it remains so popular?


15. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented
fool.


16. It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its
burial costs and blamed it on the high cost of living.


17. Just remember.......if the world didn't suck, we'd
all fall off.


18. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance
of getting something right, there's a 90% probability
you'll get it wrong.


19. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the
world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to
try and pass them.


20. You can't have everything, where would you put it?


21. The latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people
make up 75% of the world's population.


22. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.


23. Shin: a device for finding furniture.


24. It was recently discovered that research causes
cancer in rats.


25. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some
people appear bright until you hear them speak.


26. When I die I want to be buried not cremated, so
I make at least one lasting impression on this Earth.

 

Ouch! Another mouth-widening laugh...

 

Again a couple of very good ones, thanks Ebar.

This one reminds me of a series of humorous bumperstickers I once had. Only a few I can remember, but this was the best:
"I still miss my ex-wife, but my aim is improving" :lol: