PETA

tim ! my brother , i extend to you the ancient beaver salute of the chippowa ,mandan and potowatami nations . to a fellow outdoorsman ,hunter and conservatioist of americas greatest natural resource , the beaver. i agree that we tamper with natures balence sheet at our peril .

in europe , look whats happened to the numbers of frenchmen and sadly, beavers now that we have disarmed the froggies greatest natural enemy , the german .

huge herds of rude , arrogant and poorly bathed gauls wearing net tank tops and puffing cigarettes roam at will through city ,town and countryside consuming vast quantities of wine , cheese and baguettes while constantly pestering female tourists from the usa ,comonwealth ,scandinavia ,asia and even eastern europe . this they do without regard for age ,weight ,hairstyle or hygene .swarming down on tour busses like locusts from the old testament .this and their gallic lust for furry beaver pelts is all consuming .

is this really what we had in mind when we thoughtlessly caged and emasculated the free roaming teutonic wulf ? so that frogs could prey on hapless beavers and vactioning schoolmarms with out any restraint . will the EU never take action to protect these soft furry little mammals from the wine soaked tongues of the chauvanistic snail eaters .

tim ,im glad to meet a fellow beaver scout , like you i love and cherish a fine peice of pelt . here in the west coast we mostly eat beaver sashimi style .and though have enjoyed it lightly sunburned , i have never tried it BBQ style , being an old school kinda guy , i prefer it with the fur still on , though i admit those tiny loose hairs do sometimes get caught in the back of ones throat . this is why man invented beer ,of course .

here in the usa, beavers were once nearly hunted and trapped to extinction .according to history books , this was done because men in urban america and europe liked to wear "beaver hats " .

now , while i admit that beavers are in their own way , fascinating and beautiful , i cant imagine any self respecting man , even if he is french , wearing one on his head .i have never seen a actual photo or sketch of a so called "beaver hat "and i have my doubts as to the validity of this storie . the palace gaurds at buckingham and the don cossacks wear giant furry hats but they certainly bear no resemblance to any beaver i have ever seen .

what i do know for a fact is that ,in the early 19th century , swarms of frenchmen in canoes from canada and louisiana paddled up and down every creek ,river and brook in north america .and , lets face it , frenchmen practically invented eating beaver and its a well known fact that the frenchies will drop whatever they are doing if they catch even the faintest wiff of beaver . the great rivers of france may have lots of carp ,sqawfish and chub but where are all the beavers today ?

look whats happened to the beaver populations in all the rivers of europe since 1945 when we so foolishly disarmed the jackbooted grayclad germanic hordes who used to sweep down through the ardennee every twenty years and cull millions of frenchmen . as the great bismark once said " sheissen die frogginmensch undt saevisch die beevirbitcsh "

lucky for us in america the indian tribes of the ohio and missisippi valleys dicovered the french trappers and after the "french and indian wars" , the snail eaters were forced by the tribes back up into quebec .
the north american beaver populations recovered, thank god , and like most american men much of my youth was devoted to " beavercraft " ,the art and science of the detection ,pursuit and capture of these wiley , evasive and often unpredictable furry little foes . a nice late model car ,sharp snug fitting clothes ,snake skin cowboy boots and a full wallet are all the tools a simple beaver scout really needs .

i admit though , that while being old , overweight and out of shape has lessened my abilitys at sniffing out and catching the swift young ,open range beaver i often enjoyed in my youth , i still have some success in catching the older , heavier and less wary creatures .

of course , now with modern hunting pressure , i try to practice "catch and release " to help preserve this important fishery for future generations of beaver enthusiasts . remember guys , as the noted naturalist john muir ,once said " save the redwoods , eat lottsa beaver " its healthy ,good for the enviornment and good exercise too!

 

woody:
Yes, I've oft suspected we were kindred spirits. I acknowlege that ancient salute of the Chippowa and answer with the oral confirmation of our sacred vows:
"Knaw, knaw, knaw."

My eyes glisten as I reflect on a lifetime of observing the North American beaver in it's native habitat. The distinctive sound of their flat-tails smacking water--or water-beds--is sweet music to my ears.

Thank goodness THEY are not an endangered species.

Tim

 

And what's so bogus about PETA's science?

 

Blaster:
Their more"reasonable" critics would state their "science" is based on nothing more than unbridled emotion and delusional thinking.
Personally speaking, their collective intelligence falls somewhere short of the sense God gave a goose.

Tim

 

Field definition of collective intelligence:

Lowest IQ among the group divided by number of members
:roll: :lol:

 

Anyone got examples of this delusional thinking?

 

Check-out their web-site for confirmation...

Tim

 

not a fan of PETA. sure, ethical treatment is great and all, but i find their 'followers' annoying as hell

here's some PETA-related awesomeness:

article about PETA
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=grill

PETA response & Maddox' rebuttal
http://maddox.xmission.com/hatemail.cgi#PETA

 

Peta are a bunch of crooks. If you go to their seal hunting "Facts" you'll find that 9/10 things they say about the hunt are false.

 

wouldnt it be great if we could suddenly , majically transport the whole peta possy through time and space to the great serengeti plain of say ...3000 years ago , with food ,packs camp gear , ect ...but no guns of course , heh ,heh ..then with magic hidden video cams we could film them , day after nightmarish day... ( actually, most culling would happen at night ) come to think of it...

it would be like a huge "survivor episode" ...where at the end of the show , there REALLY IS just one survivor !!!...snake bite , lions , hyenas , more lions , lions again ....crocodiles ..tse tse fly , blow dart s. lions , cape buffalo , mamba , fever ,elephant ... ect ...it would be so kool and all of english speaking world would watch with delight ,you want drama ,human emotion ...people being torn to pieces.... while other helpless non hunters, look on ... this would be great television !! our rateings would go thru the roof...ITS NOT REALITY TV , ITS ROAR- ALITY TV !!

we would of course check through all of them for good beaver pelts ,prior to "transportation " so as not to waste any pristine furs ...right , tim ? ..er i mean, brother racoon ?

 

Woody:

Season One:
PETA in the Serengeti.
aka:
"NO Survivors"

Season Two:
PETA Plane-crash in the Andes.
aka:
"My GOD, There's a carnivore in our midst!!!"

Tim

 

lol ...season three ; 22 survivors from last seasons "andes "production to be space warped to the solomon islands of some 300 years ago , this time the peta crew will be issued and trained with brown bess type flintlock muskets and 18th century hand tools and will be left in situ for 17 years

a spokesman for " beaver lodge pictures ", explains " the islands were , at that time ,densly inhabited by fierce black cannibals . the peta settlers will have a chance to use guns , kill indiginous people ,eat meat ( human ), take over and subjigate the island and enslave the the dark skinned natives to do the dificult manual labor of building houses ,planting crops ect.

one peta person was heard to say " the place is really , really hot and too humid for white people to work , besides , these natives are ..um , cannibals , so you know , ah... shooting them is not really that bad "

the producers feel this scenario will allow the peta people to embrace a lifestyle which they have always tended to loathe , ie. guns ,war ,meat eating ,slavery and colonialism .

 

Woody:
As I'm fond of saying when I observe a morbidly obese person waddling painfully through the Chinese buffet-line...
"Now if MY plane went down in the Andes, I'd be eating on THAT until help arrived in the Spring."


You're killing me today son!
No doubt you and I would be a riot sitting around a campfire smoking the "peace-pipe" and hitting on a bottle of "Applejack."

Tim

 

i was once snowbound and trapped for 4 days at the infamous donner lake in the sierras with my then girlfreind sue ,we were returning home and plumb out of money .

just as the ill fated 1840s donner pioneers were trapped and reduced to eating one another ,sadley
this same expedient was finally resorted too by susan and myself , about a hundred and fourty years later .but unlike the donners ,all of my partie survived .

also, tim , this was the first time i really learned to acquire a taste for the small furry riverine animal with the wide tail ...kinda fishy at first but then , ambrosia..