Fictional Scenario

If you were ordered to advance into a small French village about a square kilometer of building plus farms and all that good stuff. You had a choice to pick 3 tanks and 1 vehicle to accompany a force of about 50 men. Heavy resistance is expected and reports of anti tank guns.

Question is what 3 tanks and 1 vehicle would to choose to acompany the troops and why. Time frame June 1942.

 

American or German?

 

Three t34/85 and anything towing an 88. Blow the crap out of the area with the 88 and mop up with the strongest tanks that are available.

 

Based on the time frame, I'm guessing German. The one piece of information that seems to be missing is what kind of unit I'm commanding. Therefore, I'm going to with:

PzII - quick, small target, rapid fire guns
PzIV X 2 - about the largest gun I'm going to have that's mobile with HE rounds
StuG - that's my one other vehicle, and technically it ain't a tank, but it's got a big gun.

50 men? I want to designated them either horse or motorcycle, for rapidity of movement. Wait until darkness, and send out recon patrols. I need to find out what's out there, and where. Which areas are defended, which aren't. What is defending, and how are they set up? Once that information is received, we go in guns a-blazing from 2-3 points, depending on the intel received. Attack to be launched at 0430.

 

Since it's in a city, a long tank barrel will have little value.

Therefore, to get the optimum effect against the expected soft targets, I'd choose three Pz. Kpfw. IV kz for my tanks. This will allow me to get a relatively fast turret traverse, due to the electrican turret traverse, while not risking getting the gun stuck.

At the same time, I'll have two machine guns which can be fired from an enclosed position, and sufficient HE capability to overcome all civilian buildings.

I thought about flamethrower tanks, but these would be too dangerous to my own troops in an urban environment.

I would choose an Schwerer Panzerspähwagen (Sd Kfz 232) for my vehicle, which will give me additional firepower with the 2 cm Kw K, which also offers the protection of a closed-top vehicle.

 

Okay, Christian, since I didn't specify, I was actually referring to an E or F1 model. I wanted the short barrel.

 

Any vehicles it dosent really matter.

 

Figured you would

 

As a newbie who is not aware of all the technical tank details ,
I would choose three Tigers and a Nebelwerfer.

The Tigers can cope with the buildings at long range - they have sufficient frontal armour to deal with most of the expected anti-tank guns.

The Nebelwerfer I would use to aim at soft targets outside of buildings or at barns (since it's a small countryvillage). The Nebelwerfer effect will scare away some green troops and has the ability to pin down some pockets of resistance.

I would use my 50 soldiers as infantry.

 

If it were not for that darned time limit I would use Tiger Morsers...

However, 3 M4A1 Shermans and an M3 halftrack mounting a mortar should do nicely.

 

Oops , forgot the time frame

 

3 x Bob Semples, a pushbike & 50 spoon wielding Pixies.

(Well, you did say that it was fictional).

 

No, no, you are supposed to assault the village, not cause the defenders to choke to death from too much laughter...

 

So you're trying to tell me I can't use the world's funniest joke against the enemy?

 

Hi.

Two nice Type 97 Chi-Ha medium tanks for close defence, a SS armoured engineer tank with mineclearing equipment and flame throwers and a type 94 6X4 truck with a type 41 75 mm gun portee.

Yours

tom!

 

We need to establish the nationality of the Enemy, to get the joke successfully translated. (In itself, a very dangerous task, wouldn't you agree?)

 

Certainly, but the result is far cleaner.

 

Doesn't use of the joke now contravene the Geneva convention?

 

Hmm, tricky question.. One part of me wants 3 SU-152 with a Katyusha BM-13 to back up my troops, and another part wants 2 Howitzer M7 Priest and 1 Churchill MK VII, and for the troops they get a Sd.Kfz.251 (Some usefull version)

My tactic is:
1. Find bunkers, AT-sites and other hotspots
2. Fire HE-rounds at it
3. Fire more HE
4. Let the troops finish the job with tanks as backup.

 

as long as it works...