Heres a few funny quotes... "Do not touch anything unnecessarily. Beware of pretty girls in dance halls and parks who may be spies, as well as bicycles, revolvers, uniforms, arms, dead horses, and men lying on roads -- they are not there accidentally." Soviet infantry manual, issued in the 1930's One of the serious problems in planning the fight against American doctrine, is that the Americans do not read their manuals, nor do they feel any obligation to follow their doctrine... - From a Soviet Junior Lt's Notebook The best tank terrain is that without anti-tank weapons." -Russian military doctrine At a prewar diplomatic conference, the Nazi Foreign Minister Ribbentrop "sniffed" to Eden and Churchill that if there was another war, the Italians would be on Germany's side! To which Churchill supposedly replied: "that seems only fair, we had them last time!"... "The reason the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices it on a daily basis." - from a post-war debriefing of a German General Pearl Harbour Radio Operator: "Is there anything that we can provide?" Response from Marine Commander on Wake Island: "Send us more Japs!" .... Said to be one of the last radio transmissions received from the Marines on Wake Island before it fell to the Japanese, 1941.
The one about Churchill is in error, that quote was said by Churchill but not at that time, and not to Ribbentrop. I believe it was said after Italy announced it had signed the "Pact Of Steel" with Germany in 1939, before Churchill was PM.
Here are two of my own favorites, the first is from the broadcast orders from Adm. Halsey to the Third Fleet then under his command. M: ComThirdFLT Cease Firing! The war is over. However, if any enemy planes fly overhead, shoot them down in a friendly manner. W. Halsey, commanding (VJ Day) The other one of my favorites is attributed to the most decorated US Marine, General Lewis Burwell "Chesty" Puller; "All right, they're on our left, they're on our right, they're in front of us, they're behind us...they can't get away this time."
These are hilarious. Sharing this to make you laugh as well: 45 Funny Quotes from the Most Popular Stand-Up Comedians on Life
