Humor, the Best Medicine

My life insurance policy demands that I have a regular, annual check up at the health centre. Blood pressure, weight, cholesterol, that sort of thing.
I had it today. The nurse told me, " You have to stop masturbating"
"Why", I replied.
She said, "Because I'm trying to examine you!"

 

i guess it scared the s*** off a lot of dudes

 

humour

Did Phillip Fart??? (Traverse left for full pic.)

 

The Queen and Harry turning away and then that evil smile. I said he did fart

 

humour

WATCH OUT CANADIANS!!

 

Re: humour

For more information, see http://www.heptune.com/farts.html :lol:

 

i though i should share some Jib Jab Classics

What We Call the News
http://www.jibjab.com/originals/what_we_call_the_news

This Land!
http://www.jibjab.com/originals/this_land

Nuckin' Futs! The JibJab Year in Review
http://www.jibjab.com/originals/nuckin_futs

2-0-5
http://www.jibjab.com/originals/2-0-5

Deck The Halls
http://www.jibjab.com/originals/deck_the_halls

Good to be in DC!
http://www.jibjab.com/originals/good_to_be_in_dc

 

Humour

The Irishman and the Mormon.
A Mormon was seated next to a Irishman on a flight from London.
After the plane took off orders for drinks were taken.
The Irishman asked for a whisky, which was promptly brought and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink.
He replied in disgust "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores before I'd let liquor touch my lips"!
The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said'
"I didn't know we had a choice!"

 

i think i found out the reason why Hitler did what he did
http://youtube.com/watch?v=fZ7G3B5v56U

 

Okay, heres a good one

An Irishman walks out of a bar...

 

Since we're starting on the Irish jokes:

 

humour

Not Irish!! but topical!

 

Family Guy - Terrorist "Big BOOM!" Conversation
http://youtube.com/watch?v=YRlYLyyYtl4

 

From an email I recieved re Glasgow Airport:

 

I would submit, Ossian m'boy, that if that were really an American talking like that, then said American represents the minority in this country.





I hope!

 

Tom, sadly it does sound much like most 'post-trauma' interviews you see on TV (with most nationalities, I should point out). Presumably the newsmen pick the most dramatic takes to use.

 

Vultures!

I wouldn't make a good interviewee...

"I saw him trying to explode an IED, so I drew my authorized off-duty weapon, and ended the incident. Now I'm going home for a beer."


Nope, doesn't sound near as dramatic.

 

Another email:

 

Glasgow

Normal KFC!

 

What does an Irishman and someone with arthritis have in common?
They both get stiff in new joints each day.