A guy is driving around the back woods of East Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'TALKING DOG FOR SALE!!!'' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the back yard and sees a nice looking dog sitting there. "You talk?' he asks. 'Yep,' he replies. After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?' He looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA and they had me sworn into the toughest branch of the armed services: the US Marines. You know one of their nicknames is THE DEVIL DOGS. In no time, they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for 8 years, but the jetting around really tired me out. I knew I wasn't getting any younger. So, I decided to settle down. I retired from the Corps (8 dog years is 56 Corps years) and signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.' The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. 'Ten dollars,' the guy says. 'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why are you selling him so cheap?' 'Because he's such a jokester. He never did any of that stuff. He was in the Air Force!'
An old leather faced cowboy dressed for town, with clean and fresh cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, and fresh polished boots went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a lovely young lady sat down next to him. After she ordered her drink she turned to the cowboy and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?" To which he replied, "Well, I have spent my whole life on the ranch, herding cows, breaking and riding horses, and mending fences; so I guess I am." After a short while he asked her what she was. She replied, "I've never been on a ranch so I'm not a cowboy, but I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about beautiful women. As soon as I get up in the morning all I think of beautiful women, when I eat, shower, watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women." A short while later she left and the cowboy ordered another drink. A couple sat down next to him and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?" To which he replied; "I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm something called a lesbian."
<iframe width="640" height="360" src="" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe> A slow week needs some laughter...this is an example of why I think the British are the funniest of all peoples...one of my faves.
