Soccer World Cup.....A Journalist Review

Australian national squad, (The Socceroos) have had their first game in Brazil against Croatia.

Australian television reported that ,"The Socceroos have been mobbed wherever they have gone."

DATELINE: RIO DE JENERO....Fevela on the outskirts of town.

I decided to attend one of these functions. Just asking around, I saw Brazillian officials informing the gathered crowd that "A Futbol team would be appearing here soon. For security reasons, we can't tell you which one, but we can tell you it's green and yellow."
The excitement built all day, and then the announcement came that, due to security reasons, the area we were in for 12 square miles around would be evacuated forthwith. I stood there, watching the police send their best tactical units in, and after the flamethrowers had cleaned up and the area was declared ""secure";there remained what was left of the crowd that could afford the 50 reals the police were charging for the event. 12 men came out of a mini-van, dressed in green and gold blazers......
"No Obrigado! Its the bloody Socceroos!!!" yelled the crowd in unison, and they pressed forward in a solid block, ignoring the trungeons and rubber bullets, tearing at the blazers of the players, hoping to have something to sell later to pay for their admission price. Looking back, I saw the column of people winding their way back down the mountain. It looked exactly like the evacuation of Penom Penh after the Kmer Rouge takeover in 1975. While I was taking in the spectacle, the Police had forced the crowd back, and bludgeoned the Socceroos back into the mini-van. New jackets were issued for the next fevela on their list. There were only another 50 to visit today to reach government quotas. Rio was trying to evict over 500,000 people in the period of the Cup, so the Socceroos must play their part as well.

It was going to be a busy time for our Socceroos......

Australia has a charity that is depending on the Socceroos putting in a big effort to guarantee their funding for the next four years. The Socceroos have not let them down before. I decided to go and check it out.

On arrival, i found that Mark Dempster had everything riding on the Croatia game. "The Socceroos won't let us down. Theres an entire hospital and Dental surgery construction project riding on this Croatia game. If The Socceroos do their usual thing, we will be set, and a LOT of kids are going to have new heros."
Mark has already funded one project, (an elementary school for the underprivelaged), on the Socceroos last Cup campaign. It was a near run thing. "They started to perform most unexpectantly, and actually made the semi-finals. But we had faith, and we put our sponsors money on Japan for that semis game, and the good old Socceroos came through for us, going down 2-1 and guaranteeing our wagered cash would multiply accordingly. I got a Mercedes out of it as well."
Mark is optimistic, "Lets see what happens with the Croatian game. I've got our next four years of funding riding on them to win. The Socceroos are certain not to let us down. Aussie! Aussie! Aussie!"

As we go to press, the score was a great result for Mark, proof of his knowledge of how the Socceroos play....Australia 1 Croatia 3.

This Rlean reporting from Rio De Jenero, Brazil, and signing off until next time

 

Not wishing to bring your journalistic skill into doubt but surely the Socceroos got gubbed by Chile?

 

and the Dutch smashed the Spaniards by 5-1 !


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/worldcup2014/article-2657446/Spain-1-5-Holland-Robin-van-Persie-Arjen-Robben-score-twice-Dutch-stun-world-champions-Salvador.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mKeCNcNFaI

 

Ah yes, our roving reporter is in a world of his own. He wanted to convey certain things about the Socceroos cup campaign....the agony.....the bigger agony....the disappointment of the Brazilian crowd.....the casualties at the Fevela......

Small details like who actually played whom escape our roving man!

 

The England team visited a Brazilian orphanage today. "It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces so empty of hope", said Jorge, aged six...

 

Yep....the best English team in decades goes down to the worst Italian team since the Christian IX went down to the All Latin Oversized Pussycats at the Emperor Titus Innaugural 150 Days of games at the brand new Colloseum.

I ask myself, as an Englishman, how it's possible for the Old Country to have, hands down, the best and most spectacular league in the world, with the largest fan base watching the action week to week. How can we have such a great league competition and fail so consistenely in the world cup? The last time we won was when Bobby Charlton still had hair, so what do we need to do to change this? Italy have the dullest football style.....go one nil ahead and then muck about retaining posession for the rest of the match. It bores me rigid, and yet this is the type of soccer that gets result?

Time for some rule changes. My sugesstion would be that only forward passes are allowed. You must play the ball forward, or the whistle blows. alternatively, once the ball is in the opposition half, it cant be kicked back into your own half.

Simple changes like this would force teams to attack, rather than boring the audience rigid. The stadium crowd pay large amounts to watch the game these days, so why not give them an entertaining show, rather than an exercise in head inflation for half the crowd.

The other change i would make is instant red card for diving, with video referees making the call as the game goes. This would be the only aspect of my brand of football with a vid ref. Decisions would take place as the action progresses, rather than in the immediate period after the whistle has blown. This would give the vid refs lots of time to decide whether to pull a player or not. South american sides and Italian sides are the worst offenders of this. It would work something lke this. After the ref has blown his whistle, and indicated to the watching vid refs that a suspected dive has taken place, the game would continue to save everyone standing around, shuffling their feet while the the crowd looks at the cieling. No, the game will go on while the video refs deliberate and carefully come to a measured decision with no pressure. Then, when the refs have made their decision, an announcement will simply be made over the stadium P.A. system, "No.5, remove yourself from the game. Your time is up."

Third change.....get rid of the penalty shootout. Keep people playing for as long as it takes to score! Have a period of 10 minutes either way, then 20 minutes, and then golden goal. These people are supposed to be ultra fit professional, and if they cannot play half an hour more, then no-one can. They get paid more in a season than most people will earn in a lifetime, so why not push them hard?

Fourth Change.....A Levy on earnings. These clubs must put back certain percentages of their earnings, in the form of a levey, into programmes that impprove the lives of the people watching. There are not nearly enough professional places for the vast amjority of hopefules to earn a living, so why should we subsidize the earnings of clubs and players? Programmes must include apprenticship sponsoring, money for schools etc....anything but programmes that develop football. All the disappointed also rans should be given a chance to make something of their lives, rather than spending the rest f their lives guaranteeing the incomes of spectacularly paid professionals who cant win a word cup to save themselves!

Rlean reporting........bugger you England Team.....Give back our money now you've blown it!

 

the English and the penalties

 

Agree there needs to be a change in order for soccer(football) to become appealing to NA fans who are used to more action and (game) violence- (hockey, NFL, MLBB-just the bench clearing brawls, NBA). The offside rule desperately needs adjustment.
Soccer(football) can be very entertaining. But mostly it is just BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING.

Have watched 75% of the games broadcast this Cup. Hope the action will get better... And the players who whine and fall like they've been tortured and shot- pathetic. Wish some player would just lay a butt whipping down (not the fans rioting), then it'd get exciting.

 

Just watched Brazil Mexico. Thinking soccer is a lot like war. Weeks of boredom punctuated by moments of excitement.

 

Most I've laughed at a post in a long time, thanks. But someone in Stirling taking the p**s out of English football, come on!!

 

It's ok, I'm a rugby fan!

 

In defence of football in general.....

I'm not sure whether NFL is any more 'exciting'. Heavily clad, overtrained professionals who have been doing nothing more with their lives than playing a 'game'. And that game is far too disjointed. Get rid of the time-outs, the clock stoppages, the interruptions for television commercials, and we may justify all that overtraining. Push these people to the limit. This is what they are supposed to be doing for a living, and for big bucks too! So whu be easy on them? Lets have ONE side on the field forthe duration of the game, barring limited replacements for injuries. It galls me to see one 'special team' after another, coming on, playing for two minutes, and then skipping off again to sit on a damed bench.

In these aspects, soccer has it all over American 'football'. Other superioritiies include...

Ease of setup - If you want to organise your kids to play soccer, all you need is a ball, a pitch, and not much else. Bt with the american brand, its time to roll out all this crap, uniform pants, helmets, towels to wrap around their cocks, specially modified drink bottles, gloves for recievers....etc etc etc ....endless really. And training requires still more equipment. Ball tossers, pass throwers, tackle bags, those ridiculous metal thingys for running into. And training is over intellectualized, for no better reason than to justify having a cavalcade of extra idiots, dashing to and fro, making pointless signals with hand gestures, cheer squads so women wont feel left out altogether, (even though they should). And the 'scene' is just as gay as soccer. Everyone feeling it's necessary to pat evryones arse, just to prove how manly they are.....

All for a game that take THREE AND A HALF HOURS to complete.

Some things though, remain exactly the same world wide....

I have just been watching our local news service coverage of our own Rugby League contest called State of Origin. Its an annual thing in australia, and it's representative football, with National squad places at stake. The State of New South Wales team has reported that, having won the first game of this best of three series...."We are striving to win it 2-0." I'm sure we didn't really need a news service to know that, and what else could really be reported..."We are striving to stay out of the contest, to let our opponents win the next two games and steal the series off us...."Sporting interviews with these idiots are even worse....

Reporter: How do you feel the game went?
Player: Yeah, it was a tough match, but the boys all pulled together, hunkered down and got in shape, all for one and one for all, and victory went to the side that scored the most points."

I have seen HUNDREDS of 'interviews' with sporting idioits go exactly the same way, leaving me wondering exactly what the 'cpverage' is meant to achieve, other than being a platform for the nights commercial breaks. You must have the same syndrome in America. Certainly, interviews with soccer 'stars' are no better. I remember watching one program where the Chelsea football team was shown through buckingham Palace. They reached one point where they stopped in front of one of the Queen's paintings, an oil. It was a Rembrandt, and the guide had to explain to these highly paid half-wits that "Rembrandt was a VERY FAMOUS PAINTER..." Duh!

Any how, I hope you all realise that professional sport is turning our kids into airheads, trying to follow in the foot-steps of thes semi-educated fools. I dont care how much they get paid. There are far too many hopefuls and not enough places for us to be giving these people the exposure and publicity that we do. Our kids have to be shown that for 99% of us, we've got to keep their heads out of the clouds. I point out the number of people that wish to play in the NBL, and regardless of talent, are passed over. Having spent most of their free time playing basketball, what then?

Sport people are paid far too much, and not enough is expected of them. That goes for all codes. Time we made heros out of soldiers, or trade professionals, and keep sport as a weekend semi-fitness thing, rather than overdoing the importance of running up and down a field.

 

The Wallabies just beat the French on the weekend...Now we face the All Blacks in the Bledisloe cup...About as full on a game as you'll ever see, worth lookijg up Historian...

 

Another reason for Soccer being played in most world countries whilst American Football is played in only one country is SIMPLICITY. Explaining how to play soccer takes about five minutes. Explaining how to play american football is an all afternoon affair, and even then you would have only covered the bare bones of the game.

Heck, americans and canadians cannot even agree to keep the game to one standard set of rules? The only two countries that have professional leagues and they cannot agree on astandard? Amazing.....or thats the way Canadians are in reality...take your pick.

One last thing that amazes me about American Football. There are such a lot of people hanging around the pitch....they outnumber the players. a professional soccer team requires three people.....one coach, one manager, one team physician. Thats it, end of story. The sheer number of has-beens that hang around an american football team is staggering. The ones that amuse me the most are the two people whose sole job is to carry two giant sized lollypops around with ten yards of chain strung between the two. I mean , these guys stand there with this apparatus ALL GAME. Now surely a big stick would be suitable, and it could be comveniently stowed until needed, rather than paying some clowns to stand there for the entire game. Similar, why cant reular players punt the ball? why in the hell do we need a 'special team", and a player whose only task is to kick ball.? It certainly does not teach children to be flexable and to adjust to many different roles. American football teaches them to do one task ONLY, and forget about trying to multitask at anything.

Sort of like the way the U.S. Army trains it's soldiers.....one task only. If you drive a tank, thats ALL you do. The Russians have a similar system.

And we Aussies think it's NUTS in wartime. Causes more casualties than the policy is worth.

 

Soccer is a poor man's game...a ball...something that rolls, and your away...even England was poor when this game was 'invented'. Also, it allowed contest without injury, something the working classes couldn't afford...

 

Agree with the gridiron comments, that's why I lost interest once I'd actually been to see a few games.

 

Valid points about football. Agree with CAC, where you could play soccer anywhere with a coke can. Much more accessable for all to play...
Think NFL would be more exciting with CFL rules. There are no players in the CFL who wouldn't give their first born to play in the NFL though....I want to spend all afternoon watching sports. I barely even get drunk after 90 minutes. Tailgating- a NA institution. Where we get prepped for the game.
The AUS NED game is entertaining.

 

Spain 0 - Chile 2 :i_surrender: . Congratulations to Chile. So sad , but I'm sure we will never forget our team.

 

Question: how does the injury time- or the time spent after the end of 2nd half come about? Do the ref's clock the time on their watch (during injury time out ) and decide how long game will be?