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Some jokes and some funny pics...

Discussion in 'Free Fire Zone' started by Kai-Petri, Dec 4, 2002.

  1. Phantom of the Ruhr

    Phantom of the Ruhr Member

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    [​IMG]

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  2. Kai-Petri

    Kai-Petri Kenraali

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  3. Kai-Petri

    Kai-Petri Kenraali

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    Snoop Dogg is not your usual royal wedding singer.

    However the American rapper says he's dedicating his new single, "Wet," to Prince William's bachelor party.

    The rapper is touting the track on his website and Twitter feed. On Tuesday he tweeted the official royal account, clarencehouse, saying he'd "Made tha anthem 4 Prince William's bachelor party n all bachelor parties round tha wrld."

    The star also sent tweets to a slew of celebrities — including Oprah Winfrey and Jamie Oliver — urging them to check out the song, and expressed a desire to perform for the prince.

    Snoop Dogg pens bachelor party song for William - Yahoo! News
     
  4. Kai-Petri

    Kai-Petri Kenraali

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  5. RabidAlien

    RabidAlien Ace

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  6. Totenkopf

    Totenkopf אוּרִיאֵל

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  7. Kai-Petri

    Kai-Petri Kenraali

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    A book was released in Finland on strange and interesting advices in books and on several machines.

    This one was rather catchy and should be from the US Air force training book (?):

    "It is not advised to use the ejector seat over an area you have bombed recently..."
     
  8. Kai-Petri

    Kai-Petri Kenraali

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    A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the
    densest element yet known to science.

    The new element has been named "Bushcronium."

    Bushcronium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy
    neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of
    311.

    These particles are held together by dark forces called morons,
    which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called
    peons.

    The symbol for Bushcronium is "W."

    Bushcronium's mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly
    interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy
    neutrons in a Bushcronium molecule, forming isodopes.
    This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to
    believe that Bushcronium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity
    in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical
    Morass."

    When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates Foxnewsium.
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2021
  9. Kai-Petri

    Kai-Petri Kenraali

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    HMS Glasgow was on exercise in the Mediterranean. With fuel running low, a RAS (Refuelling at Sea) was necessary. The Tanker assigned to the force was HMS Bayleaf.

    Weather conditions were poor and communications on HF were difficult. The Navigator spoke to his opposite number on the Bayleaf and a rendez-vous was set up for the next day. Latitude and Longitude were passed and the time for rendez-vous set at 1600.

    At the appointed time, HMS Glasgow was in position with the ship at a high state of readiness. But there was no sign of the Bayleaf. 10 min overdue, the Navigator contacted the Bayleaf. Co-ordinates were checked and it quickly became apparent that the figure for Latitude had been misheard by 1 degree.

    The Navigator realised that this put the two ships apart by approximately 60 miles. He briefed the Captain that the RAS needed to be delayed by 3 hours while the two ships sailedtowards each other. Unfortunately, he had not checked the chart.

    When he eventually did so, and plotted the positions, he realised that the distance apart was indeed only 60 miles . . . . but between the two ships lay Crete !

    10 hours later and with fuel reserves dangerously low, the two ships finally refuelled. The Navigator was not impressed when, at his leaving dinner, the following rhyme was recited:

    "We were due to rendez-vous the Bayleaf,
    She was the pride of the fleet.
    Everything would have been all right,
    If we'd been the right side of Crete."
     
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