In almost every forum I've been to, there is a sarcasm thread. Time for one here! I'll start. Winter is the best time to invade Russia.
"Dig a hole in your back yard while it is raining. Sit in the hole until the water climbs up around your ankles. Pour cold mud down your shirt collar. Sit there for forty eight hours and, so there is no danger of your dozing off, imagine that a guy is sneaking around waiting for a chance to club you on the head and set your house on fire. Get out of the hole, fill a suitcase full of rocks, pick it up, put a shotgun in your other hand, and walk on the muddiest road you can find. Fall flat on your face every few minutes as you imagine big meteors streaking down to sock you. After ten or twelve miles (remember - you are still carrying the shotgun and suitcase) start sneaking through the wet brush. Imagine that somebody has booby-trapped your route with rattlesnakes which will bite you if you step on them. Give some friend a rifle and have him blast in your direction once in a while. Snoop around until you find a bull. Try to figure out a way to sneak around him without letting him see you. When he does see you, run like hell all the way back to your hole in the back yard, drop the suitcase and shotgun, and get in. If you repeat this performance every three days for several months you may begin to understand why an infantryman sometimes gets out of breath." -Bill Mauldin Up Front
Off task. Off topic: Fill two gallon buckets to the brim with gasoline. Walk around in a pitch black room for 8 hours while people who hate you most in this world throw burning matches at you. Life as Bomber Crew.
When I did St. Lo for the Center Of Military History one story stuck out, a prank on a 2nd Lt. The young officer had just arrived at his unit in the bocage and was taking a look around. Then he had to ask, "So, how close are the Germans?" A guttural voice from the other side of the hedgerow said, "Ze Lieutenant is new here, ja?"
