Poser of the Day/Week

These idiots are so desperate for attention I thought I'd help them out! Everytime I see a particularly good example of the military poser, I'll post him/her here. Others are welcome to submit also. It may be daily, it may be weekly, just whenever I come across one.

Today's Poser
The Navy Ranger.



All I can say is.......

 

What's so wrong with posing and being proud ? Millions have done so. I'd rather have a poser than a depressed .

 

Might have to run that last part by me again Skipper. No comprende.

 

aka It's better to be a proud soldier than a depressed one.

 

"Poser" is an Americanism meaning that the individual isn't what he represents himself to be. Maybe a guy trying to pick up girls with a fake Rolex and a glib story about being rich and successful when he's actually living in his mother's basement. In this case, a navy uniform and an army ranger beret - and what looks to be a gray tee shirt which wouldn't be regulation in either branch.

 

PT shirt...? : )

 

I'm with USMCPrice on this. That first post cracked me up. Go the Navy Rangers!

 

Posers, we got'em too.

Back in the late 80s, there was this douche bag who frequented local dance clubs wearing a white US Naval officer's uniform, like the one Richard Gere wore in the last scene of "An Officer And A Gentleman". I never got a good look at him, but after awhile I wondered why he was in Baton Rouge so often, with the closest naval support activity 80 miles away in New Orleans. I was working the desk on dog shift one night and in he walks. Up to the desk he came, and asked me if I knew a certain trooper that he knew in school. I replied that the trooper in question worked as a PIO during the day and wasn't available at that time. I then took notice of what was US Army officer's crossed rifle insignia on both of his collars. I asked him about that, and he said he was assigned to naval infantry. "SEAL's?" I asked, and he said "no, naval infantry". At that time I contacted another trooper on patrol nearby who was a 1st Lt in the USMCR to return to the office asap. I chatted with the poser long enough for the trooper to arrive. He walked up to the desk and asked what the problem was, and then I pointed to the poser and his "naval infantry" credentials. He took the poser outside and straightened him out on the matter and the poser was never seen again.

Several years later, during the Operation Desert Shield part of the Persian Gulf War (part 1), I was patrolling on dog shift and made a traffic stop. The driver of the vehicle stepped out, wearing blue jeans, an OD green Army fatigue jacket (a shirt to you civilians) and a white sailors dixie cup hat. I inquired to his get up, and he told me he was in the Army AND the Navy. "At the same time" I asked, in my best faux awe demeanor. He said yes, and was leaving for the front any day now. He was obviously under the influence of alcoholic beverages and full of sh1t at the same time, so I put him and his car in jail without incident.

And another time during the same lead up to hostilities, I saw a fellow wearing a flight crewman's jump suit, black tennis shoes with no insignia on it standing in line at a convenience store near LSU. He was a bit older than the usual fighter pilot's age range, and quite a bit chubbier as well. He was flirting with some co-eds about being an F-16 pilot, and his jet was parked up at the airport. He asked if any of them wanted to go for a joyride with him later. By now I had enough of his line of crap and called him out. I asked him for some sort of ID. He said that he left it in the jet. Right. Then I questioned on him about his rather rotund size, saying that he'd be more comfortable in a C-130 cockpit instead of a F-16. He didn't know what a C-130 was. Next I asked where he was going to put the girls when he took them on this joyride, when the F-16 was a single seat aircraft. At that point, he shuffled out of the store as the girls giggled at him. I saw him running the same game a few weeks later at a local watering hole. When he saw me edging up to him at the bar, he disappeared out the back. That was the last time I saw him. I guess he must have "deployed" to the front like the Army/Navy guy I arrested earlier.

One more story....a few weeks later when I was in one of the more respectable strip clubs in Memphis, Tennessee the DJ was announcing to the crowd that there was a "US Army Ranger" in the house, leaving for the war tomorrow (the bombing campaign was still going on). Of course many cheers and yee-hah's went up. A string of nekked girls stood at attention and threw him a salute. Made me proud to be an American! I didn't see the guy since I was saluting the girls, admiring their military bearing and all. Later that night when I was making change for a lap dance, the "Ranger" was at the bar asking for someone to buy him a drink since he was shipping out tomorrow. He didn't look anything Ranger like, sort of scrawny with collar length long hair. Of course I asked him what unit he was assigned to. He said that he couldn't divulge that info. I countered saying that he was able to get the DJ to announce to the house of his presence, why couldn't he tell me what unit he was in. I asked to see his ID card, and like all other posers, he said that he didn't have it with him. Yeah right. No dog tags either (I always wear mine). I then commented on his long hair, and he said that he's been off for awhile. Off? Nobody in the service is "off", they might go on leave, but not off. "Leave papers?" I then asked. I guess he really had to go take a leak real bad right about then since he hopped up and stepped lively towards the door. I then enjoyed the rest of the evening the best I could in honor of our boys at the front of course. At the time, I was still in the reserves, but never made an issue of it.

 

All the nice girls love a sailor....Eighteenth century Portsmouth/London was full of public houses, with patrons swapping stories of French shipping captured. Considering the small numbers of actual sailors in Nelson's navy, and the unlikely event that they should be in home ports long enough to waste time in an ale house, gives you some idea of just how widespread this practice probably was.

I am certain that 'posing' is not a modern thing, either.

The women of Sparta had a simple method for detecting 'posers'. They asked anyone claiming to be 'there' whether the battle was a victory or not.

A negative reply would see them clicking their tongues, and shaking their heads. "Soldier, you weren't there. Our men come home with victory, or they don't come home at all!"

 

Sad and pathetic...Pale shadows of what they wish to be...

 

I have a story to tell regarding 'posing'...

My mother used to run a mini-bus service. She engaged the services of a man about 10 years her junior, to help run the business and drive. He also moved in to Mum's rented house. This guy made two moves, one of which was to try to report my mother to Road Traffic Authourities as someone with a heart condition, who may well drop dead at the wheel. He also attempted to gain access to the business bank accounts. Mom called me to assist.

When I arrived, I took stock of this fellow. He claimed to have been in the Royal Navy of Great Britain. About a week after my arrival, I sat this fellow down for a little chat.

I spoke with him about his military service. He said he was "on cruisers". "Oh yes?", I replied, "which cruiser would that be?". He looked at me. "It was called the 'Illustrious', a heavy cruiser." My mind went "bong!-wrong answer bud!"
"Ol'mate", I said, "The "Illustrious" was an aircraft carrier! Now, which vessel do you think you were on?"
"Oh, they had more than one ship with that name..."
"Hogwash, mate. I'll find you a picture of the "Illustrious". Does this look like a cruiser to you?"

I read him the riot act, and decided to test him. Offering to go 'outside' whilst we settled the issue in a more animal like fashion, this fellow wilted on the spot. That convinced me he was full of 'it'. A real military man doesn't back down from an offer like that.

That guy was on a plane to the Phillipines pretty soon after, never to be seen again.

Posers can take all shapes and forms.

 

Here is an epic poser. Colonel Michael Douglas McDowell. Has been at it for years and even faked his father's service. I would have questioned him being real when I saw a Brigadier General, in uniform with a goatee, but some people just want to believe. His highest fake award was only the nations 2d highest the Distinguished Service Cross! BTW, neither he or his father were ever in the military.



Heres a link with more info:

http://guardianofvalor.com/col-michael-douglas-mcdowell-elaborate-fake-military-career-busted-by-fort-worth-police/

 

And that green Army class A uniform has been out of the inventory for quite some time now. A "general" would know that.

 

Yeah, he might ought to press that collar and straighten out that tie too if he's going to prance around like a general officer. He might stroll up into the wrong bar and get himself "Dirty Dozened".

 

He's a clear phoney -- there's not nearly enough stripes on that jacket.......

 

Army people in all nations are clean shaven when n uniform. Depending on the unit, it's actually an offence to appear with whiskas.

I always thought impersonating an officer was an indictable offence?

One of the chief reasons why military people are such sticklers for personal hygiene when out of a combat zone is to seperate themselves physically and phychologically from the civilian population. I think it should be a jailable offence if it isn't. A fake could, concievable, get a bunch of "reals' to do his bidding, and we just can't have that.

 

The whole thing is bizarre.

His ex-wife Christy is one of the 44 commenters on this site, telling everyone what a shameful lie it was. He used to put three phones in front of him at meetings, and disappear off to talk down the phone to no-one at all. Some-one took him to task over discussion of classified matters on an un-secured line. Something should have tweaked then. Amazing.

What do people get from taking the hard earned laurels from service people like this?

 

Hygiene has long been in the front of the army's mind...at least officially...thousand of people living in close proximity demands certain levels to be maintained...haircut to make sure there is no spread of lice etc etc...there are some few examples of army and beards...you can get a chit from the RAP if shaving causes sores (which can become infected in tropical areas).

 

One motivation for the regulation prohibiting beard is that it interferes with the gas-mask and makes it difficult to achieve a perfect air-tight fit. Shorter beard and gun grease or ointment is one remedy but will increase the time for the application of the gas-mask which in turn will put bearded personnel at increased risk of exposure. Most militaries make an exception for religious grounds as well (sikhs, etc).