The one sentence story

Let's try a variation on a theme: We have a thread where you put in three or four words at a time. Why don't we try a sentence at a time. I suggest studying Lytton-Buhler and the San Jose State constest based on that author as a basis for adding to this thread. Anyway, I'll start with a classic:

It was a dark and stormy night.

 

Severe turbulence hits the aircraft and we are out of control !

 

The captain cries: "The princess must reach her destination alive"

 

Co-pilot yells, "Number 3 engine on fire!"

 

Pilot replies, "Activate the fire suppression system, NOW!!!"

 

The navigator, in a fit of pique, nausated by the fumes coming from the burning engine now slowly engulfing the wing of the airplane in a gruesome slow motion and quite tiny version of hell demanded of the pilot "We're off course again; come to heading one-eight-seven degrees and climb five thousand feet immediately!"

 

As the pilot struggled with the aircraft, trying to gain altitude, the other engine suddenly lost oil pressure. They were going down and he knew it was a 50/50 chance whether they could survive the crash landing.

 

"Climbing feet", she thinks to herself, "Why their not tall enough to clime, unless your not very big, and anyway, even if you could do one, maybe two, you'd still have 4,998 left, which definitely isn't right, but is none the less correct."



(love that San Jose St. contest)


oops....one post too late

 

Meanwhile, far below, unfriendly eyes watch the stricken aircraft as it lurches and judders across the dark december sky.

 

On the ground, Hans watches thinking to himself that once again he was seeing the truth in the saying "The deader they die" began to rumminate on the small glittering star just two points to the East of the now aflame aircraft that had initially attracted his notice and was now no longer holding his undivided attention unaware that it was in fact about to go super nova; something Hans failed to grasp.

 

The pilot, Captain Martin Bull, reflects on his fate.

 

But suddenly, out of nowhere, a FW190 appears and unleashes a barrage of cannon shells onto the stricken aircraft.

 

At which point Bridgette switched channels disgustedly all-the-while thinking to herself "I pay $40 a month for two hundred channels and they can't even put on one chic flick a night what kind of hideous world do I live in?!"

 

She spends another couple of minutes changing channels before coming to the realization that the cable company has unexpectedly canceled her subscription to HBO.

 

The man of the house then takes the remote back and turns the TV back to Turner Classic Movies, and there Captain Bull is slapping the panic stricken co-pilot back to his senses.

 

As the old war movie and his old hag drone on in the background, Jimmy (the man of the house) keeps thinking about Jennifer...the new attorney in his office. The spark was definitely there during the lunch meeting and he knew he had to make his move soon.

 

All this being irrelevant as it was the First time she had a Second helping when her Third molar erupted like the Fourth of July and the Fifth column of which she was a part, had a Sixth sense about the generating of the Seventh sanctum over the Eighth house of the zodiac as it applies to the Ninth gate on the Tenth anniversary in the Eleventh hour of her favorite Twelfth night of Shakespeare, all the time while on the Thirteenth floor the Fourteenth Dalai Lama put away his collection of the Fifteenth dynasty faster than a Sixteenth note and sauntered over to the Seventeenth district on Eighteenth street to ratify the Nineteenth amendment for a already gone Twentieth century.

 

But, Jimmy being unable to count (his having chosen law as a profession that required no actual knowledge or study, as we all know) ran on in musings one sentence, and out loud, too long allowing the now thoroughly angered Bridgette to know everything about Jennifer, who seemingly was also known throughout the office as "Jaccuzzi Jen," as Jimmy had alluded to in his musings, began to incinerate the aforementioned Jimmy in a way that paled to the flaming misery of Captain Bull's aircraft going down in flames behind them on the small and out-of-date portable television that broke up the otherwise, except for that hideous stain, unrelenting bareness of the south living room wall of their flat.

 

But, at that very moment, Captain Bull stood up, grabbed a parachute, and leaped out of the door, pulled his ripcord, and watched as the fire reached the fuel tanks, and when it did, the cargo of soiled underpants flew in every direction, hitting Jimmy just as Bridgette fired his own .22 at him, the bullet of the said gun bounced of the undergarments and hit the angry woman in the eye, who fell backwards right into the path of Mr. Bull, who's extra spiky football boots pierced her skull, killing her just as Jennifer fired a PIAT at the wall of the house, which promptly fell over, covering Bridgette with a ton of Bricks, to which Mr. Bull (Now sitting an a Tiger I) fired an 88 shell in the air, hitting the search and rescue helicopter that was looking for the downed Aircraft, however, the S&R Chopper was actually a Challenger 2 falling by parachute, the 88 shell bounced off this Chobbam armour, and then landed on Jimmy and Jennifer, just as they where making love, blowing them too pieces.

 

It never occured to Mr Bull, that he'll be surrounded by a brigade of Shermans and now is in fight the fight of his life.