A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States . He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me into this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and a free education!" The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am a Mexican." The man goes on and encounters another passerby. "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America ." The person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese." The new arrival walks farther, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand, and says, "Thank you for wonderful America !" That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East . I am not American." He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?" She says, "No, I am from Africa ..." Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?" The African lady checks her watch and says, "Probably at work."
Young Barry in Illinois bought a horse from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news... the horse died." Barry replied, "Well, then just give me my money back." The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already." Barry said, "Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse." The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?" Barry said, "I'm going to raffle him off." The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead horse!" Barry said, "Yes, I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead." A month later, the farmer met up with Barry and asked, "What happened with that dead horse?" Barry said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898." The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?" Barry said, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back." Barry now works for the government.
Stimulating Ourselves to Death: They might sound great, but do stimulus packages work? - Reason Magazine Michelle Malkin A little insight into BO's great "stimulus" plan as wellas all the hot air in DC about AIG
Nice for a laugh. not to get anyone "down" on them, one that is not meant to be derogatory in anyway-and also in which I share with several Americans of Mexican descent friends of mine-is: "What do you call Tejano Music? German music played on stolen instruments." :lol: :lol: After telling a few of them that joke usually opens it up wide for retaliation after several moments of grabbing their bellies and laughing till their eyeballs start to pop out of their sockets.
