-------------------------- From: HR@company.com Subject: Christmas banquet Date: December 1 To all employees I am happy to announce, that this year's annual Christmas banquet will he held at Steakhouse Argentina on December 20th. There will be Christmas decorations, and a small band will be there and play traditional Christmas songs. The vice chairman of the board will come dressed as Santa Claus and will light the Christmas tree. Christmas presents can be bought, with a price limit of maximum $20. I wish you and your family a Merry Christmas. Best regards, Catrina Williams Human Resource Manager -------------------------- From: HR@company.com Subject: Christmas banquet Date: December 2 To all employees Yesterdays announcement was not meant to alienate our Jewish and Muslim colleagues. We know that their holidays does not match ours. Therefore, we will call the Christmas banquet an end-of-year banquet. The Christmas tree will be removed, and the band will not play any Christmas songs. Of course, there will not be any pork at the banquet either. I wish you and your family a cosy winter. Best regards, Catrina Williams Human Resource Manager -------------------------- From: HR@company.com Subject: Christmas banquet Date: December 3 To all employees After a tip from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, there will not be served any alcohol at the banquet. Best regards, Catrina Williams Human Resource Manager -------------------------- From: HR@company.com Subject: Christmas banquet Date: December 7 To all employees After talking to the union, we have agreed that $20 is far too much to spend on presents. Therefore, no presents will be allowed at the banquet. Catrina Williams Human Research Manager -------------------------- From: HR@company.com Subject: Christmas banquet Date: December 11 To all employees We have now secured a special menu for all the members of the Weight Watchers, who will have a separate table. All the pregnant women will get the table closest to the bathroom. The homofile will be placed next to each other. The lesbians does not have to sit next to the homofile, but will get a table for themselves. The homofile will of course get the largest centrepiece. Everybody happy now??? Catrina Williams Asylum supervisor -------------------------- From: HR@company.com Subject: Christmas banquet Date: December 13 To all employees Of course we are tolerant of the smokers and non-smokers. We will try to get some heavy drapes, and separate the room into two sections. If that proves impossible, the smokers will be seated in a tent outside the restaurant. Catrina Williams Minority suppression dictator -------------------------- From: HR@company.com Subject: Christmas banquet Date: December 14 To all employees AH!!! Vegetarians!!! I was hoping to hear from you!!! I don't give a shit if you don't feel comfortable going to a steakhouse! You can go to the Moon for all I care, if you don't want to be near the Barbecue of Death! Enjoy the salad bar and the raw tomatoes! Tomatoes have feelings too, you know! They scream when you cut them! I've heard it myself! That'll teach ya! I wish you all a bloody Christmas! Drink until you die, wankers! The Bitch on Third! -------------------------- From: HR@company.com Subject: Christmas banquet Date: December 15 To all employees I am sure I speak for all of us, when we wish Catrina a speedy recovery. Get well cards and flowers are much appreciated. The address for the psychiatric ward can be obtained from HR. By the way, the management has decided to cancel the banquet on the 20th. In stead, you will get the day off at the company's expense. Merry Christmas! Henry Stevenson Vice Human Resource Manager --------------------------
Merry chrimbo Well, it certainly happened in the UK because I read it word for word.... but it was a different company and sender!!! :roll:
tsk tsk....Happy Holidays........wait....I don't care if I'm politically correct. go tradition. Merry Christmas to all!
This Christmas it will be just me and my boyfriend, no children, no TV, just us and a roaring log fire to drink our wine in front of. The house will be clean when I get there and he will be doing all the cooking, there is also a dishwasher so I won't have to lift a finger.....bliss! I hope everyone enjoys a stress free Christmas.....have a good one!
i wish everybody a merry christmas and a happy new year!!!! i'm only be off 4 days, go back to work next wednesday, and to make thinks worst: no bonuses this year, :angry: :angry: anyways, we are more than happy, cos little jimmy, still i have a 1% of sadness, first aniversary of mum's departure but we made a promise to remember her as happy as ever, so cheer up, drink and celebrate and enjoy the holidays :smok: :smok: but remember if you drink and drive , in jail you land!!!!
