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Slipdigits war

Discussion in 'Fiction' started by urqh, Aug 26, 2009.

  1. urqh

    urqh Tea drinking surrender monkey

    Dec 23, 2002
    Likes Received:
    Following on from my earlier Englishmen go to war thread......

    The Yanks go to war...
    The Donut and Pepsi Wars of the Deep South.

    Or American forum members fight the alien invader.

    Who would have believed in the closing years of the 20th Century that we were being watched by eyes afar.

    Din din diiiin.....Din din diiiin.
    din din.....din din...din din......din din..din din....

    Music by Jeff Wayne..

    Well you get the picture. Aliens invade earth....Where do they go? The centre of civilisation of course...Well Hollywood's done it so why can't we....If they ever invade they will of course land in America.
    So our story of how American forum members rallied and saved the earth is based on fact...And thats a fact.

    Produced by Urqh
    Written by Urqh
    Executive board member Otto.

    Starring in no particular order....

    I surrender.....Mussolini...
    I told you the south would rise again....Slipdigit.
    What do you know about aanything?....Devils Advocate.
    Its the plane, its the plane....Erich
    Im closing this down....Pzrjjgr.
    This book would be in my library, on the top shelf. buy it....DG.
    Its fun to be in the Y.M.C.A fun to be in the Y.M.C AAAA.....TA Gardiner, Jugs, A58 and Keys...
    Remember the Alamo...Carl
    They are quite pretty for aliens....Jemmimas Special.
    We wont be fooled again....Texson.
    Russian blood American comedy and British stupidity, won this war.....Slioniskip
    Give peace a chance, are we not all aliens?,...Lou
    Chamberlain could have stopped this in Munich....Clint

    Special guest appearances by urqh, wtid45, Steffan, Kruska Richard Skipper Martin, Jaeger, Von Poop and others....

    Aliens played mostly by Mexicans, and led by President Obama lookalikes. As in Matrix...Its a stolen Idea I know....

    The time...Now, well last week when no one could access forums, and I got bored at home.
    The place...America...the Deep South to be precise...Home of Alligators, Bayou's, cotton pickin, Dixie, big guns, and Slipdigit.
    The problem...President Obama electied in close of 2008 shows his true colours....Communist to Facist and now as we all know...An Alien from Mars Bar Land First Planet past the Chocolate Milky way where the aliens live on Donuts, Pepsi and Snickers bars....

    The story...8 months into presideency, Obama reveals his true colours...In a speech in Berlin he recreates the famous JFK speech of the sixtiees....The German crowd are aghast at his mistake in repeating the JFK translation of I am a Berliner or donut.....But are equally aghast when he says he really means it...Ich bich Eine Berliner...and throws off his coat to reveal the uniform of the interplanatery most extrodionary Kraftwork storm troopers...The crowd are even more aghast as they are covered by a bright light and the heat wave engulfs Berlin...Eeeeeeyyyyooooorrrrr....Pictures are transmitted by live feed around the world...
    Regular programs are interuppted to report the news that the American President is indeed an Alien, and that they have been amongst us for years...Watching....Building...Crossing borders...
    The pictures of the speech and heat ray are broadcast to Britain..But missed by most as X factor season 7 is just starting on telly.

    In Russia Pictures are broadcast with subtitles explaining that Georgians are behind the plot and Russia has invaded the Ukraine, Lithuania, Estonia Latvia and Afghanistan to help rebuild after the impending future destruction.

    CNN prctures are ignored in America as propoganda by rhe Republicans, but are re broadcast on Fox News..Fair and Balanced...You decide...whereby panic ensures in the American heartlands...But the American forum members are made of sterner stuff....The forum is online..Freezone is buzzing...the message is put accross and even as the world wide web and international communications methods are fast dissapearing in an Alien hackers attack...the WW2 forums and WW2 Talk forums are staying on line....Flipping Amazing that one...

    Pzrjgr calls for calm....Slip DEMANDS calm...Texson shouts...TOLD YOU....I FLAMING TOLD YOU...
    DG starts wrtiting the official history...Mcrusk and Totenkhopf offer Canadas support...Urqh laughs..
    Stefan tells us they come in peace and have a right to share our planet. Richard writes a letter to the Times.
    Martin goes on holiday. Blacksnake comments eh lar, its not a problem...weeeve ad aliins in Liverpool for years now...they re called Evertonians...Wtid45 sings men of Harlech...all shout back....Shut the bugger up...

    As forum members unite and pull on uniforms and draw guns....Literrally in UK as drawing with pencils is nearest we will get to them...the outside world reacts to the news that the Alien tanks are leaving the Model T Ford factories in large numbers....Factories that have been supported for years by American Tax Dollars....Yes Ford is an alien as too are most of the American industrial factory owners....

    Texson posts a message...TOLD YOU...I FLAMING TOLD YOU...
    Mussolini suggests surrender...
    Carl starts handing out guns... Big one stays with Carl..He has a plan...
    Erich takes to the sky's....Recceing the scene and reporting back to forum members.
    Slipdigit raises the southern flag....Gives permission for paddle steamers to sail the Mississippi in numbers once more...Sings the national anthem...Dixie...Reduces taxes for plantation holders and gives the Souths message to Obama and his alien backers....Frankly obama...we dont give a damn...

    The American forum members march...Its war...

    China offers hand of friendship to Taiwan as they march into Taiwanese cities. We're here to protect you from donuts is the message.

    Cuba invites Aliens to open donut franchises at casinos and beach areas, under state control and offereing good dollar exchange incentives.

    Irish find birthplace in County Cork of first Alien...Invite Aliens for a pilgramage of peace...

    Northern Irish search for gun buriial pits....where'd'ya put em Paddy...Beegeezz....Yer sure its not a Brit plan Kelly? Who cares Orourke...they're all aliens...Pass the ammunition....

    Begians um and ar about whether they belong to any international orginisation and decide to declare neutrality and arm the aliens.

    Poles prepare to defend their borders but realise all males between ages 17 and 30 are on plumbing contracts in England.

    Australians say fair dinkum...Thats what Skippy the kangaroo was trying to warn us about...But feel safe in their far corner of the empire....Except...The Empire strikes back...As film is shown of Ayres rock summit sliding aside and aliens pour out of top with pepsi and donut waggons heading into the bush....Eeeeeyyyoooorrrr.....

    France...France is a safe haven...No donuts or Pepsi has ever dared to cross its borders...Skipper announces he is joining the Foreign Legion to help resist the invaders from other lands....Refugees pour across France's borders..And donuts are smuggled into the major cities....On the second day of world donut alien invasion plan, France awakens to a giant donut hovering over the tip of the Eifel Tower....Eeeeyyyoooorrrr...

    Isreal bombs Iran.

    Achmelia achjamazad, or something quite like it.... Iranian Prime minister.... invites his Alien brothers to join him in his crusade against the infadels...

    Isreal bombs Iran again

    Argentia declares the Malvianas are occupied by aliens and they reserve the right to act accordingly....The Falkland islands defence council, invites Argenine government to a beach party and BBQ being hosted by the Royal Marines. The islands motto is changed from Penguins do it on ice to come and try it if your hard enough....

    Isreal bombs Syria.

    The world seems to have gone mad...The storm clouds are gathereing....and donuts appear above the White House....Big Ben...The Kremlin...The Alamo...The Great Wall of China...and Disneyland in Florida.

    Isreal runs out of bombs.

    Mussolini suggests surrender...
    Clint says never give in to apeeasement or donuts.
    Lou agrees with clint...where will it all end if we stand idly by...Next it will be the Mcdonalds invasion....no sorry thats been done...
    Slipdigit arranges for fourm members to meet at the Alamo and there we shall make our stand...
    Hooraaarh...shouts Key28....Outstanding shouts A58...Semper Fi, shouts Jugs...I'm washing my hair that day shouts Jemimmas special...Texson...Shouts...I'll be there...the alamo...Gps input...car gassed...Wife kissed...gun primed....I FLAMING TOLD THEM....Now where is Texas exactly?
    Erich reports from 2000 feet....Hello Sunray...this is Erich FW 109....I'm over the Alamo now....No sign of donuts....The Rio Grande is clear of Pepsi...I'm taking a closer look.....
    My god....My god...They are coming...I thought they were rubber dinghies sailing on the river....there are thousands of donuts with Obama lookalikes in em...all dressed in Mexican uniforms...Where's Davey Crocket when you need him...

    The UN offers its American member all the help it can muster....2 Kenyans, 3 Bangadeshis, 4 swedes and a South African in blue berets....Plus all the rice sacks American Airports can handle.

    Russia offers its American comrades its full support..

    Russia.vetos UN rice package in security council..

    France requests clarification of numbers of Aliens in America before it can offer any help in the security council....Show us the ....Whole Mass of Donuts......or WMD as they call it.

    China offers to send lead toys for smelting ammunition....But A merica has received thousands of ships with said toys over the years and declines the offer as they have enough Chinese lead and Mercury to sink a battleship....Jugs says NOT THE IOWA....Leave the Iowa alone you foreign buggers...
    TA Gardiner and Devils Advocate take over the navy...Look for charts of Rio Grande....We can get this carrier up there I'm sure we can...
    Martin offers Erich his bouncing bomb that he has lovingly resotred in his garage....His wife thought he was making an extension to the house...She threatens to leave him now she knows the truth.

    The UK offers its finest...Rhs, Urqh, and Richard sail for states...are diverted to Carribean while on route to take over islands for bases, in a historic deal between the USA and UK, the USA will lease island bases to the UK in return for a reverse lend lease to America....Museums in UK are scoured and all ww2 tanks and aircraft are oiled and sent via ship to Florida for onward movement to Alamo....Mussolini sees arrival of said equipment in Miami....He offers to surrender immediately.

    Forum members from all over the continental United States and Canada and islands, head for the Alamo...Maps are scanned, heads itched, fingers wagged...questions asked....Just where is Texas then?

    The UK prime minister offers a pact to the Americans in their hour of need...But its an election year in the UK...He has to be careful....The voters you know...the voters...An offer of future help is accepted by America, now known as the Atlantic charter mark 2....The UK will come to the USA's aid if the UK is attacked by donuts flying Zero's against the British fleet now stationed in Bantry Bay...watching the Irish...A fleet now so small the donuts would have trouble finding a destroyer amongst them never mind a carrier.

    America is offered salvation by the outsanding oratory of Gordon Brown when he says, we can save America from the Donuts if they send their fleet and gold reserves to safety in Liverpool....You see how this story is going eh??? How's that feel then??? ....Jugs says hang on....weve been here before havent we? Urqh laughs...Richard hits Urqh...dont rub it in you bugger... Wtid45 sings men of Harlech...shut the bugger up shouts Stefan...Von poop, arms and rallies ww2 talk...surrounds ww2 talk server transmitter site...they shall not pass...Wtid 45 sings men of Harlech....Shut that bugger up someone....Wtid45 is secretly sent to Prestwick, boards a privatte jet, blindfoled and handcuffed...flies to Alamo.. Secret rendition is a good thing....Sing all you like there you bugger...

    Nato activates rule 4 or is it 5...One nation attacked is attacked by all...or something quitte like that...
    Britiain says it cant do this today as they have their own special arrangements with America.
    France and Germany state in that case they will form a European army....Plans are put on paper to put plans on paper and discuss bi-latteral arrangements at the next foreign secretaries meeting now being planned between the two nations for 2021.
    Belgium agrees to arm the aliens.
    Norway sends Jaeger as Norxmis...Norwegian military mission to America...To evaluate problem and report back on any assistance Norway can offer...taking into account recession, snow, and donuts currently hovering over Oslo. Decision is taken to send 20,000 sets of Skis to Alamo to equip defenders.
    Canada declares your war is our war, sod Nato...Mcrusk and Totenkhopf don uniforms and cross border into America....Where is Texas again?
    Otto winds up server with secret server key...Announces he will keep server online and will peddle bike to keep dynamo running for as long as possible....Remember the Alamo...Whereever that is...
    Turkey invades Kurdistan.
    Greece invades Cyprus.
    Holland opens dykes. Dutch wander around Amsterdam....Are those flying donuts up there Karly?? This is some good stuff were smoking Johan...
    Danish close borders with Germany...Announce we are not Germans...We will resist the Donuts...Let them come....Danish wake up on third day of alien invasion to find king cycling in streets....where did all these donuts come from...
    Germans aghast at Berlin destruction by heatray...eeeeeoooooyooorrrrhhhh.....march towards Poland who they blame for this outrage...
    Nato falls apart.
    Spain goes on holiday.
    Portugal agrees thats a good idea and joins them.

    So there we have it....All forum members that can reach the Alamo....reach it just in time....Sam Otto Houston promises them further help from other international forum memmbers already marching to their aid....but will take time to form this army... The.Alamo must hold until other members can relieve it...

    The die is cast....Members are to reach and show aliens in battle that we can indeed take it .It is all just history now...

    Their names though deserve mentioning again...So DG can get the history right....The book is on sale now in all good stores....Not Amazon of course....Amazon was found to be the donut aliens tool of propogander...They were amongst us all that time and we never knew....I suppose we should have really...should have read the books more carefully....Especially the bits where sideshows appeared and Private Ryan won ww2...We should have suspected....Omaha was not the end of ww2 as written in many of the books we read...Patton was not king of America as many works told us, Montgommery as we all now know was in fact king of the Americans. Bradley did indeed invade Berlin in secret, dressed in Russian uniforms and the atomic bomb was just a what if. It never happened or did it conspiracy theory.

    But back to the Alamo...

    The members who made it....after pouring over maps, gps phones, cabs..trains planes and automobiles....they got there and held the line...

    Wtid45...arrived by private jet...Dressed in red uniform..singing men of Harlech...He would later charge the Obama Mexican donuts alone shouting follow me to glory men...remember Rourkes Drift....Thus ended the Welsh contingents involvement...

    Urqh and Rhs together with Richard arrived by rowing boat.....Out of Liverpool turn right...next left...thru Panama canal...turn right...up rio grande...disguised as donuts...Marched into Alamo to cheers...until taking off gas masks it was realised who they were and cheers turned to tears...

    Devils Advecate and TA Gardiner spent the battle wedged in panama canal with Nuclear carrier...

    Many unnamed folk died at the second battle of the Alamo...they will remain nameless, suffice to say Mcrusk was heared on one occasion to inform Slipdigit that poor...old so and so was dead....Slipdigit being his calm self replied,..Is he really dead to which Mcrusk stated......Well put it this way...If I knew he was dead I wouldnt have bothered to rinse out this extra mug....Such were the emotions of battle.

    Carl.... Remember the Alamo.... fought bravely...well he didnt have to show himself to the donuts too much...his big guns were prominent in turning the battle....but in terms of manpower, was it such a good idea to use 15 men to lift each gun to the walls.

    Jugs, arrived by landing craft as he should... With some of his mates....Singing Davey Crocket as they marched into the Alamo...setting up their own Coca Cola franchise to local Mexicans as they marched in.

    A58 arrived with keys 28 by parachute....At first thought to be donut and pepsi franchise salesmen their parachutes confused for donuts by Clint and Lou...they were shot at as they landed...A58 would later use his camoflauge mastercalsses to install himself in enemy columns and gather intelligence..Yes I know...Intelligence and A58....doesnt go together right...But I for one am not arguing with the airborne...
    Lou was promoted to intelligence officer....gave many a lecture as the bullets flew by....I say you donuts....thats not the angle you should be firing at....sort of thing...Lou was a distant cousin of Wtid45 it seems.....
    Clint was put in charge of all heavy machinery....how he turned a water well, 12 sandbags, a rusty tractor plough and a barrel of rum into a Tiger tank is anyones guess but all thanks to Clint...
    Texson eventualy found the Alamo....He knew he was going wrong when he cycled past St.Pauls Cathederal in London...Something was indeed wrong with his GPS phone...Obama hacked me he was heared to shout as he eventually rode into the Alamo....
    Mussolini managed to get to the fortress by walking all the way...hands held up above his head, trying to surrender...The donuts thought he was welcoming them...and let him pass...
    Slipdigit was first to arrive....In full regalia...sword....feathered hat...horse...singing Dixie....They shall not pass...
    Skipper eventually arrived with a message from the French president to all the defenders....One that would inspire them to glory as they awaited the 2021 European relief force to arrive. Once the paperwork had been sorted. Meanwhile he offered them a hand.....Skip can explain that one...
    Pzrjgr bared his teeth to the donuts on the walls...and could be seen throughout the battle swiping donut Mexiicans off the walls, shouting your off topic...keep it clean...Im closing you down as he smited here, he smited there, and smited every flaming where..
    Mcrusk, married Totenkhopf in the Alamo chappel, before she donned her nurses uniform and tended the wounded...Totenkhopf fought well but as with all youth..had problems occasionally deciding who's side he was on...but he made the right choice when needed.
    Erich flew back and forth...changing planes daily, straffing donuts as they sailed dinghies across the Rio...
    Martn listened....Advised...and tutted....
    Jemimas Special arrived by Greyhound bus...Took lots of pictures, shook hands....and was most put out when told he couldn't now leave and had to fight...But I have an appointment at 3 he said....To which Jugs, A58 and Keys shouted....An appointment with a full metal jacket you bugger...and threw a helmet at him...but its not German he said....It aint German bullets coming your way you daft sod...wear it or we'll call you Eddie eadless...
    The 3 musketeers as they were now known had a way with words...
    DG...Was to be seen throughout the battle running from post to post taking interviews, marking points of interest, thinking of the fortune to be made in the Alamo before and after publication he was planning....Carl to provide the before pics...Drew the after pics....
    Sloniksp was busy too....He had managed to burrow his way to the Alamo on a restored T34. from the museum of peaceful farming implements in Lenningrad and joined Clint in the newly formed armoured battalion.

    The story went into history...we know of the fear, the smell of battle, the cries....and that was just Mussolini as he slept on day one.
    But all did their duty....Medals were recommended to Otto....Obama and his donuts on sufferening such a defeat at the hands of such men....and women...Mcrusk reminds me....saw the fight that mankind had in him....He also saw the International ww2 forum brigade on route with ww2 equipment...thought this planet is inhabited by madmen and even though these alien forces could have eeeeyooooorrrred us all to oblivion...their heart was no longer in it thanks to the Alamo defenders....It turns out that like the original story....where the common cold destroyed the Martian invaders....so too could a common earthly emotion destroy the alien forces....They laughed so much they could not fight......The thought of tears in their eyes stopping them from aiming straight was too much...they knew they could never destroy the heart of man...Man it seems doesnt have a heart...at least the defenders of the Alamo that week didn't....No mercy was shown to the aliens as they fell over in fits of laughter....A bayonet charge was even attempted at one point....gates opened...and that was where Wtid45 singing men of Harlech, shouting follow me...earned his Medal of Honour....Gates closing firmly behind him...laughter of aliens as they fell and drowned in the Rio Grande...casualties mouniting....But the end of the attack occurred when Obama heared of DA and TG being stuck in the Panama canal with a nuclear carrier.....These folk are too funny....should be on tv....And the aliens left...We had won...


    .The American dream....thank god for the American dream....or as Von poop later was heared to say...not like us then....we're awake...

    And the Mexicans were assimilated into America....San Andreas was no longer blamed for past problems....No longer coulld anyone say its San Andreas's fault.....as it was your own fault for building on the damn thing....stop blaming some Mexican.

    And Texson was just glad that at last he had been listened to...SEE I TOLD YOU...I FLAMING TOLD YOU he was heared to mutter as as he planned his next tea party....this time he was heading for Boston....oh heck...thats where Urqh and Richard are going home from....Tea bags at dawn then....

    Medals for all...apart from Jaeger who arrived with 20, 000 skis day after the battle ended....But he found the rum barrel Clint had used for the tiger tank cupola, now laying on floor....drank it..and got two native texans to take him to Rio Grande and while under influence of mucho rum sang songs and buiilt the newly inagurated NorMuchski bridge over the river.

    America got a new president....Obama was history....Hail to the chief....President Slipdigit....The south shall rise again.....we're all safe now then...

    Roll foreward to 2021....The books have been witten....The movies made...The vetrans can be seen in the accomponying DVD extras disc to the series....When Donuts Collide....

    Mussolini: I played but a small part...memories??? The girls, the travel.....the aching arms...
    Being Half British I share a love of football with my fellow British forum members and my passport has an eagle with a tea bag between its jaws. Like Churchill I have a love of things English....I just cant think of any at the moment...

    Slipdigit: I just hope when the youngsters of today look back on the second battle of the Alamo they see a bunch of youngsters just like themselves...frightened, loyal to one another...loyal to a cause...Some things are worth fighting for....the rise of the South and a new president is always worth a few donuts.

    Otto: Didn't they do well? My part was just technical...I just oiled the cogs of the wheels...the boys and girls did the rest. And now we have this new satelite server there can never be another attack from space without us knowing about it....And the server works just fine now...Apart from Fridays obviously.

    Pzjgr: Well we have introduced a new forum exam now...The battle showed us we had a need for more dicipline, less objectivity...More yes sir and less no sirs... We now have a forum of fully informed and fit to serve members...Of course some of the older members had to be dispensed with....But thats progress...Urqh earned enough from the royalties anyway...Carls guns for giants factory is now up and running...Richard works on the Times newspaper, and Stefan is Chief of the British Defence staff, so they didn't suffer for being kicked off the site for failing the exam...Fancy not knowing ww2 started in 1941. And I want the person who wrote on the bathroom walls of the forum to come forward and admit his or her guilt. There will be no punishment on this occasion, but a lesson in grammer should be learned here....Just how many grammatical errors are there to be allowed in the the following statement and painted in Red too...When God wants a hard thing done he tells it to his Englishmen.....It just doesn't make sense...

    Carl: It was touch and go for a while back there, but when the west wall finally collapsed, everyone came to appreciate my giant pistolario....We held that wall....And it was thanks to me....Where's me medal by the way?

    Stefan: Of course it was a war that shouldnt have been fought...We had the chance to agree on the focus of the objectives and substansiate the managerial hierarchy, with onus on future ambiviance and rid our planet of failed thoretical expedianceies that have since remodelled our whole structure of routing and information sharing in the technological age. W as it worth it you ask? I think I have answered that here.

    Martin: There was a battle? A war hasn't been fought this badly since Olaf the hairy, high chief of all the Vikings, accidently ordered 80,000 battle helmets, with the horns on the inside.....

    Erich: Im in submarines now....No really...Ive given up on planes....My submarine fits the Rio Grande basin easilly....If they come again I'm ready...

    DA and TA are still serving their sentences in Levenworth and are unavailable for comment.

    Formerjughead, or Jugs he is known: I got the Coca Cola Mexican franchise...war is hell....Cheers...Semper Fi...

    A58: Still serving as a small town law enforcement officer....My memories of the battle? I got to shoot things again....I like shooting things...And I didnt have to fill in any forms...Would I do it again....As long as Urqh stays in front and not behind in the bayonet charge...I'm still full of holes and getting treatment....12 Stabbings does not an accident make...Not in my book...Flaming Limeys... And I'm off donuts by the way.

    Keys28: Rangers lead the way....And I'm thankful to president slip for making me head of the Texas Rangers...I get a great badge too...want to see my badge??

    Lou: If war teaches us anything it teaches us that war is a good teacher...It teaches us about things, bad things, good things, teaching type things...We can all learn from war...I learned from the Alamo...What did I learn you ask? I learned that next time I should hide under the bed....those military type buggers are mad....Just plain mad.. And that battle cry above the din of battle....Whenever there was a pause..Some idiot shouting..Be British boys....Be British....I had to check my Atlas on occasions to remind me of just where we were fighting...Limeys everywhere...

    Clint: Well Some say war is hell, some say its a learning curve...I'm just glad my knowledge of farming machinery and big vehicle mechanics, was put to good use in building the Tiger tank at the scene...It really was nothing...No really...It was mostly cardboard but the guys didn't know until Richard tried to drive it away and ended up swimming in the barrel of rum...

    Jaeger: Of course I arrived too late to effect the battle in any way..But my heart was with the guys....The Norwegian government made the correct choice in providing ski sets...that bridge will last a thousand years...Its a big bridge...Reaches right across the Rio Grande...some would say a bridge too far but thats never the case....Richard swam in the rum barrel you say? Oh great....

    Jemimas Special: Horrendous, just horrendous.

    Sloniksp: Just call me Fred...Every one else does and did...By time someone shouted out pass the ammo slions...sion...son...slionsikp...They had been shot, so the desicion was made to call me Fred. Ah well that as they say is war....We dunked those donuts didn't we...

    DG: Buy the book, its much better than this DVD rubbish. I'll be giving a talk to ww2 forums on the battle soon. Keep looking in for date and time. I ideally wanted it to be on the battle anniversary, but the blokes all said they were busy that day. Buggers....I saw them while drinking coffee at home...And there they were all on the tv in the wreckage of the Alamo on the anniversary date....OK, so I missed some things out of the book but I thought we were all friends.I never mentioned anyones name but my own for privacy protection reasons. If I have given anyone the impression I fought alone I am sorry and apologise. Now can we all be friends...

    Mcrusk: I had to divorce Totenkhopf, I realised I was already married, besides, war time romances don't always work...What did we have in commn anyway...Just Canada...Oh Canada...Mounties, snow, French folk, the queen, not a lot to build a future on, besides my husband didn't like him.

    Totenkhopf: War broke my heart...But my new career in the 10th SS Panzer division re enactors has seen me too busy to bother with all that again....Panzergruppen Achtung...Varsaw!!!

    Texson: I TOLD YOU SO!!! Now you listen....But if you want to know my memories of the battle...I remember one time when the wall ladders landed on the south transcript wall...The English lads raced to the ladders and threw the Mexaliens off the wall...Urqh was heared to shout you have no idea just how much nastier I would be if I was not a Roman Catholic...That made us laugh...even the Methodists....Humour shines through most of the memories...Lets face it if it wasnt so funny we wouldnt have bothered being there.
    And the time durng Slipdigits speech to us all before the battle proper....A rousing rendition of Shakespere, Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson..ending in the words, we're American, we're raised American, we'll die American..and that little English voice in the background...My god man....Have you no ambition..But no one would own up to it...We have our suspicions, and Richard did have a red face at the time...

    Wtid45: Men of Harlech, stand you steady, we will be forever ready.....Some hear that opening verse and it brings the memories flooding back...I still have the red uniform by the way....Stood me well in two battles now...I'm an honoury sergeant in the 1st/ 24th by the way. Mines a Martini, a Martini Henry....See their spear points gleaming...Men of Harlech stand together this will forever be our story.....

    Wtid45 is currently undergoing tretment for PTSD at the Royal Chelsea pensioners hospital.... Which in itself adds to his nightmares as he thinks at times he is in training for Chelsea football club...And then as with many....the nightmares return.....

    Skipper: The President of France entursted me with a hand in a box....Don't ask....I mislaid the hand...Although I did see Urqh chasing Richard with a third hand up his sleeve but he said it was a birth defect...He had a big gun so I didn't argue...Where am I going to find a hand to fit this box now...Zut Alores...Je suis sot commme un Anglois.

    Von Poop: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...I am reminded of the Shakespeare stories of my youth... But .May I take this moment to reflect on just why ww2 Talk never despatched its members to the Alamo as did the UK members of the ww2 Forums....You have to understand the British...Unless introduced formally to other nationalities or folk, we cannot possibly offer any communication or help to any strangers...Shipwrecks exempted of course. Which is why the claim of some against us is so unfair to ww2 talk members. Now we have been introduced as with ww2 UK forum members..If aliens ever invade again, notwithstanding our own needs and duplicitous actions we will like all British folk be on call to assist our American friends unless it should interfere with the Empire or tea time.

    Urqh: You can always trust the Americans....In the end they will always do the right thing...When they have eliminated all the other possibilities that is...

    The military??? It teaches you lots...I only joined originally to put my moustache to good use...A funny life....You join up and the medic says take all your clothes off and cough....I replied shouldnt you at least take me out to dinner first....No sense of humour....No seriously...Join up..do it today....Your country needs you.

    Kruska: I did offer my services as a mediator....President Slipdigit listened to my plans to bring the Mexalians wars to a successfull conclusion. However he thought it was a tad implausable to evacuate the American population out of the way and cede the lands to the original inhabitants..I.E. the Aliens, who it can be proved can trace their claim to America way back to Egyptian times according to E.V.Danekein.
    Alien life forms built the Pyramids, the Aztec and Inca buildings and so can trace their claim to the Americas further back than the British invasion at Plymouth Rock.
    I dont understand why no one ever agrees that land ownership is of more paramount importance than present occupying forces...In this case the Americans should have evacuateed the island and all would have been peacefully concluded.


    I have pictures if anyone wants to see them.....
    fruiniulk, A-58, Pen and 10 others like this.
  2. texson66

    texson66 Ace

    Jul 12, 2008
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    :)Glad your internet connection is back, U! Thanks for the entertainment!:)
  3. Slipdigit

    Slipdigit Good Ol' Boy Staff Member WW2|ORG Editor

    May 21, 2007
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    You need a job. One that leaves very little time except for that which is needed to sleep and eat. Other than those times, you need to be at your job, working, with no free time. You're dangerous with free time on your hands.
  4. Mussolini

    Mussolini Gaming Guru WW2|ORG Editor

    Sep 10, 2000
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    Festung Colorado
    Yes, I think he needs a job too. I can only imagine what we'd see after TWO weeks of no internet! (God save us all!)
  5. LRusso216

    LRusso216 Graybeard Staff Member Patron  

    Jan 5, 2009
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    Urqh, good to have you back. I just looked up the definition of "too much time on your hands" and found your name. Wonder what that means?

    Anyway, great story, although the plot is a bit muddled.:D I'm honored to be included in such august company, although I'm not sure I agree about being related to Wtid. Ah well, it could be worse, I suppose.
  6. urqh

    urqh Tea drinking surrender monkey

    Dec 23, 2002
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    Oi, thats what she just said.....I refuse to work...Its not compliant with my well being...Yanks...No sense of humour....
  7. Sloniksp

    Sloniksp Ставка

    Aug 23, 2006
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    This is truly great stuff! :D :D :D
  8. Sloniksp

    Sloniksp Ставка

    Aug 23, 2006
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    Double post.
  9. Slipdigit

    Slipdigit Good Ol' Boy Staff Member WW2|ORG Editor

    May 21, 2007
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    Oy backatcha...It's you Brits who have no sense of humor.:D Missing a deadpan delivery.:p
  10. Jaeger

    Jaeger Ace

    Dec 19, 2005
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    Good form Urqh.

    I can only deduct that the time spent on chronicling is a direct result of the glorious politics of "new labour".
  11. dgmitchell

    dgmitchell Ace

    May 9, 2008
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    My god! Urqh is brilliant!
  12. Stefan

    Stefan Cavalry Rupert

    Jul 29, 2001
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    Great stuff Urqh, love it!
  13. von Poop

    von Poop Waspish

    Apr 21, 2006
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    Perfidious Albion
    Stopped taking the tablets again I see...
  14. Tomcat

    Tomcat The One From Down Under

    Feb 8, 2008
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    I saw the amount of salutes you got and almost decided you didn't need another, but what the hell, it was entertaining so you deserve it.:)
  15. macrusk

    macrusk Proud Daughter of a Canadian WWII Veteran

    Oct 14, 2007
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    urqh, we need to talk.................................

  16. urqh

    urqh Tea drinking surrender monkey

    Dec 23, 2002
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    Oh dear she's after star billing.. Ww2 forums meets sound of music.. Guess who's maria...
  17. Biak

    Biak Adjutant Patron  

    Nov 15, 2009
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    Umm, I was just wandering around the forum and fell down a rabbit hole or something. Now that my eyes are clearing, the pains in my side are calming and I think I know where I am, I must ask:
    Can I have what he was having? Or doing? Or did?
  18. formerjughead

    formerjughead The Cooler King

    Dec 29, 2008
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    That's just urqh...............I miss that guy. I had forgotten all about that story.

    The absence of urqh is an empty spot
    Jaeger likes this.
  19. A-58

    A-58 Cool Dude

    Nov 13, 2008
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    Baton Rouge, Louisiana
    He's gone? Where'd he go? He owes me money....
  20. urqh

    urqh Tea drinking surrender monkey

    Dec 23, 2002
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    biak ...you never read englishmen go to war...another true classic in the quill and ink section
    ..although seems to have been slightly censored now ...a true british heroic story of forum members in war of the worlds ...sorry war of the woodss..or how a norwegian nearly got us all killed on a walk in the woods

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