Some jokes and some funny pics...

If operation Seelöwe had succeeded I know where Göring would have wanted to live:

Goring-On-Thames

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goring-On-Thames

Sir Arthur Harris died there, actually. A coincidence? Interesting place name anyway.

 

Troy was actually in Finland....?

Maybe not but professor William Mullen seems to think so....

http://www.amazon.ca/Baltic-Origins-Homers-Epic-Tales/dp/product-description/1594770522

 

Oh? Here is from another quack of the same ilk: the Trojan war WAS the First Crusade!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6NBD_EsVcc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YI8rDUJiHGc

Health warning: may cause death by laughing.

 

The German Army has called up a dead dog for national service.

Helga Koehlke, 53, from Rostock, Northern Germany, received an official army letter demanding that her pet Pekingese Tommy Jakob, who passed away in 2002, report for a military medical examination with his ID card and a pair of swimming shorts.

She said: "I thought it was a joke but then I saw the official stamp. But I'm sure it must have been a mistake as little Tommy Jakob would have been no good in the army because he was almost completely blind."

Officials says Mrs Koehlke received the letter as part of an office mix-up. - Ananova.com

http://www.int.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=29&art_id=iol1162808301377D323

 

How Lord of the Rings should have ended.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d778Scq15qs

 

Cute. My own best airline "nightmare" (which turned out ok, as I will relate due to diligence on my part and a knowledgable counter staff on the airline's part) was:

Flying Phoenix AZ to Manama Bahrain via Chicago O'Hare and London Heathrow got off to a bad start when the airline loaded us, pushed back from the gate to get a "on time departure" just to have us sit on the ramp for over an hour due to weather in Chicago delaying our real departure. Arriving in Chicago almost two hours late I found the transcon flight had already departed....like duh! The "courtesy" person at the gate was no help offering the useless (and obvious) news that because of huge amounts of delays for weather many passengers were in the same boat having missed flights "but you should be able to get something tommorrow..." The help line phone person was just as useless offering to rebook my flight on Monday (it being Friday night at about 9:00 pm) and I could just "stay in a hotel in Chicago" for the meantime. When I rather nastly suggested the airline pay for this the operator replied negatively and proffered in polite terms I was basically screwed and could take or leave the offered rebook. You can figure out where that went.
I then managed to get a short line to a counter where I got a rather helpful ex-Afrikanner who at first tried with no luck to rebook the flight to England. I then suggested he try several of the airline's "partner" airlines. With this we were off! He rebooked my flight on a partner airline to Nairobi Kenya to hook a seat on a flight leaving in about 40 minutes to England. Then he cancelled the Kenya booking and rebooked me from London to Manama from Brit Air to Gulf Air on a flight leaving in the late afternoon on Saturday and arriving Sunday morning in Manama.
With grateful thanks I got on to London where I enjoyed a tweleve hour layover in a London pub or three on a unusually warm and sunny day!
The flight to Manama went fine too. Thankfully I was not put in the "cattle" section with all of the unwashed TCN masses making the flight. So this went well.
But, with all of the changes and rush I was really worried my luggage had disappeared into the either! Of all surprises it actually showed up on the flight!
Rushing through customs I got my rental car (after a bit of an argument with the Pakistani clerk about not showing up on time for the reservation) and arrived with a whole five minutes to spare for orientation and check in for work! Thanks Durcan (the c has the little tail on it) (yea, I remember the clerk's name).
Just remember next time you fly and get some screw up on flights: Gall, persistance, and deviousness will fix most or all problems!

 

That is "ç" Gardner. I have it on my keyboard.
I wonder how people whose language is not in latin alphabet type.

 

The Russian customs....

Today´s " leand lease" convoys:



Due to the slow work method of the Russian customs we have some 20-50 kilometer truck convoys on our side of the border waiting to get through....and during the shift change ( two hours ) no trucks get through at all...

Who says all the rigidity of the USSR system vanished in 1991?

 

More "Quotes"

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
Carl Gustav Jung

It is easier to fight for principles than live up to them.
Alfred Adler

Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
Brendon Gill

As to marriage or celebacy, let a man take the course he will. He will be sure to repent.
Socrates

A husband is what's left over after the nerve has been extracted.
Helen Rowland

A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out of a divorce.
Don Quinn

Marriage is the triumph of immagination over intelligence. A second marriage is the triumph of hope over expierence.
Oscar Wilde

He who knows enough is enough will always have enough.
Lao Tsu

Never invest your money in something that eats or needs painting.
Billy Rose

When one burns ones bridges, what a very nice fire it makes.
Dylan Thomas

I like pigs, dogs look up to us, cats look down on us, pigs treat us like equals. I like pigs.
Winston Churchill

1 A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
2 Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them more.
3 I can resist everything except temtation.
Oscar Wilde

A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.
Arthur Block

What is a committee? A group of unwilling, picked by the unfit, to do the unnecessary.
Richard Harkness

1 The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
2 Expierence is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
Franklin P. Jones

All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see I should have been more specific.
Jane Wagner

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Manogamy is the same.
Oscar Wilde

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't.
Erica Jong

The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations.
David Friedman

America went from barbarism to decadism with no civilization in between.
Oscar Wilde

Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessaries.
Mark Twain

Start off everyday with a smile and get it over with.
W.C. Fields

 

I think that is why the some leaders of Russia turned its people into slaves to get them to work.

 

More about Russians

Somewhere on a Russian Road

There are thousands more of funny pics in that site.

 

and that is why 4 wheel drive is a must....

 

Here you go then, russian 4x4 technology.

 

A carefully selected slur on Russian AWD technology!
These are more like it :
Kamaz.
Ural.
Cheers,
Adam.

 

Come on, Kerem, that's the 3rd or 4th time these same pics of the same road show up here

And that Niva is an Italian design on 4 x 4!

 

very classy eh?

 

Oh sorry Za, I didn't read the whole thread. Anyways, Niva deserves every penny you pay for it(Because it is damn cheap and very useful). I did not know that Niva was Italian design however the new Niva seems to be American.
Check this out.
General Motors signs Russia car deal

We should start a "Cars" thread here.

 

Weird Al Yankovic hits the jackpot again...

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/video/whitenerdy

They see me mowin’
My front lawn
I know they’re all thinking I’m so white and nerdy
Think I’m just too white and nerdy
Think I’m just too white and nerdy
Can’t you see I’m white and nerdy?
Look at me, I’m white and nerdy
I wanna roll with
The gangstas
But so far they all think I’m too white and nerdy
Think I’m just too white and nerdy
Think I’m just too white and nerdy
I’m just too white and nerdy.
Really really white and nerdy.

First in my class here at MIT
Got skills, I’m a champion at D&D
MC Escher - that’s my favorite MC
Keep your 40, I’ll just have an Earl Grey tea
My rims never spin, to the contrary
You’ll find that they’re quite stationary
All of my action figures are cherry
Steven Hawking’s in my library
My MySpace page is all totally pimped out
Got people beggin’ for my top eight spaces
Yo, I know pi to a thousand places
Ain’t got no grills but I still wear braces
I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise
I’m a whiz at Minesweeper - I could play for days
Once you see my sweet moves you’re gonna stay amazed
My fingers’ movin’ so fast I’ll set the place ablaze
There’s no killer app I haven’t run
At Pascal, well I’m number one
Do vector calculus just for fun
I ain’t got a gat but I got a soldering gun
Happy Days is my favorite theme song
I could sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong
I’ll ace any trivia quiz you bring on
I’m fluent in JavaScript as well as Klingon

They see me roll on
My Segway
I know in my heart they think I’m white and nerdy
Think I’m just too white and nerdy
Think I’m just too white and nerdy
Can’t you see I’m white and nerdy
Look at me, I’m white and nerdy
I’d like to roll with
The gangstas
Although it’s apparent I’m too white and nerdy
Think I’m just too white and nerdy
Think I’m just too white and nerdy
I’m just too white and nerdy
How’d I get so white and nerdy

I’ve been browsin’, inspectin’
X-Men comics, you know I collect ‘em
The pens in my pocket, I must protect ‘em
My ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored
Shopping online for deals on some writable media
I edit Wikipedia
I memorized Holy Grail really well
I can recite it right now and have you ROTFLOL
I got a business doing websites
When my friends need some code, who do they call?
I do HTML for ‘em all
Even made a homepage for my dog
Yo, I got myself a fanny pack
They were havin’ a sale down at The Gap
Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap
Pop, pop, hope no one sees me
Gettin’ freaky
I’m nerdy in the extreme
And whiter than sour cream
I was in AV Club and Glee Club and even the Chess Team
Only question I
Ever thought was hard
Was do I like Kirk
Or do I like Picard
Spend every weekend at the Renaissance Fair
Got my name on my underwear

They see me strollin’
They laughin’
And rollin’ their eyes ‘cause I’m so white and nerdy
Just because I’m white and nerdy
Just because I’m white and nerdy
All because I’m white and nerdy
Holy cow, I’m white and nerdy
I wanna bowl with
The gangstas
But, oh well, it’s obvious I’m white and nerdy
Think I’m just too white and nerdy
Think I’m just too white and nerdy
I’m just too white and nerdy
Look at me, I’m white and nerdy

 

In 1962 De Gaulle received a Finnish decoration which still had swastikas on the chain. This is why De Gaulle put it under his jacket instead over it. Well, now you know. After this ( in 1962!!) the Finnish president required the swastika removed from the decoration which actually originates from 1918.

 

The Federal Aviation Commission has a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The device is an air cannon that launches a dead chicken at a plane's windshield at approximately the speed the plane flies.

The theory is that if the windshield doesn't crack from the carcase impact, it will survive a real collision with a bird during flight.

British Rail was very interested in this, and wanted to test the windshield on a brand new ultra high-speed locomotive they were developing. So British Rail borrowed the FAA's chicken launcher, loaded the chicken, and fired. The ballistic chicken shattered the windshield, went through the engineer's chair, broke an instrument panel, and imbedded itself in the back wall of the engine cab.

The British engineers were stunned, and asked the FAA to review the test to see if everything was done correctly. The FAA checked the test throughly and had one recommendation: "Try thawing the chicken next time."

http://www.audiovillage.org/news.html

One person who used to work for British Aerospace tells a similar story (which he swears is true), that these machines are actually used to fire chickens into jet engines to simulate bird strikes on the compressor blades. To thaw the chicken, someone left it in the gun overnight and performed the test in the morning. The results were somewhat different from the expected, and close examination of the high speed video footage showed a very startled-looking stray cat clinging to a half-eaten chicken as it exited the gun at Mach 0.7.

Argh!Oh no....

http://www.ejectorseats.co.uk/humour.html