Some jokes and some funny pics...

I enjoy the Cesarian Section and the one about seizures....excellent LOL


DUCE

 

Great pics but fakes:






From Death in the Air: The War Diary and Photographs of a Flying Corps Pilot. When it was published in 1933 this book caused a sensation because of the spectacular photos of World War I aerial combat that it contained. It wasn't until 1984 that the photos were discovered to be fake.

http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/photos/dogfight1.html


and a great German "invention": Man flies by own lung power....



http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/photos/lungpower.html

More strange hoaxes:

http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/photos/thumb1.html

 

Naughty French pilot joke:

Pierre the famous French fighter pilot

Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It's a beautiful day and love is in the air. Marie leans over to Pierre and says, "Pierre, kiss me!" Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie's lips.

"What are you doing, Pierre?" says the startled Marie. "I am Pierre, the famous French fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I like to have red wine!" She smiles and they start kissing. When things began to heat up a little, Marie says, "Pierre, kiss me lower."

Our hero tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and starts pouring it all over her breasts. "Pierre! What are you doing?", asks the bewildered Marie. "I am Pierre the famous French fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I like to have white wine!" They resume their passionate interlude and things really steam up.

Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, "Pierre, kiss me lower!" Our hero, grabs a bottle of Cognac and pours it in her lap. He then strikes a match and lights it on fire. Marie shrieks and dives into the river.

Standing waist deep, Marie throws her arms upwards and screams furiously, "PIERRE, what in the hell do you think you're doing?"

Our hero stands up, defiantly, and says, "I am Pierre the famous French fighter pilot! When I go down, I go down in flames!"



And US Marines...sorry...

Army Ranger, Marines and crocodile shoes....

An Army Ranger was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana and he wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the Ranger shouted, "maybe I'll just go out and get my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes made at a reasonable price!"

The vendor said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you will run into a couple of Marines who were in here earlier saying the same thing."

So the Ranger headed into the bayou that same day and a few hours later came upon two men standing waist deep in the water. He thought, "those must be the two Marines the guy in town was talking about." Just then, the Ranger saw a tremendously long gator swimming rapidly underwater towards one of the Marines.

Just as the gator was about to attack, the Marine grabbed its neck with both hands and strangled it to death with very little effort. Then both Marines dragged it on shore and flipped it on its back. Laying nearby were several more of the creatures.

One of the Marines then exclaimed, "Damn, this one doesn't have any shoes either!"


-----------

At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned. One soldier mused, "Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn't seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?"


----------

The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker amongst themselves is that they don't speak the same language. For instance, take the simple phrase "secure the building".

The Army will post guards around the place.
The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors.
The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters
The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy.

--------------

In The US Tank school, the following are definitions, as appropriate, by the different organizations that support the tank:

In the tank gunnery school, you are taught that if your tank could move, and communicate but could not shoot, what you had was a worthless tank.

In the tank propulsion school, you are taught if your tank could shoot, and communicate, but could not move, what you had was a worthless tank.

in the tank communication school, you are taught that if your tank can move, and communicate, but can not shoot, what you have essentially is a 52 ton portable radio.

happy tracking tankers!

 

Interesting chain letter....



This chain letter was started in hopes of bringing relief to other
tired and discouraged men. Unlike most chain letters, this one
doesn't cost anything! Just send a copy of this letter to five of your friends who are equally tired and discontented.

Then bundle up your wife and/or girlfriend and send her to the man
whose name appears at the top of the following list, and add your name to the bottom of the list.

When your turn comes, you will receive 15,625 women. One of them is
bound to be better than the one you already have. At the writing of
this letter, a friend of mine has already received 184 women, of whom four were worth keeping.

REMEMBER this chain brings luck.

One man's pit bull died, and the next day he received a Playboy
playmate. An unmarried Jewish man living with his widowed mother was
able to choose between a Hooter's waitress and a Hollywood super model. You can be lucky too, but DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN!

One man broke the chain and got his wife back again. Let's keep it
going, men! Just add your name to the bottom of the list below!

Bill Clinton
780 3rd Ave
New York, NY 10017
Billy Clinton
780 3rd Ave
New York, NY 10017
Billie Clinton
780 3rd Ave
New York, NY 10017
B. Clinton
780 3rd Ave
New York, NY 10017
William Jefferson Clinton
780 3rd Ave
New York, NY 10017
W. Jefferson Clinton
780 3rd Ave
New York, NY 10017
W. Jeff Clinton
780 3rd Ave
New York, NY 10017
W. J. Clinton
780 3rd Ave
New York, NY 10017
W. Clinton
780 3rd Ave
New York, NY 10017
William J Clinton
780 3rd Ave
New York, NY 10017
Wilhelm Clinton
780 3rd Ave
New York, NY 10017
Willie Clinton
780 3rd Ave
New York, NY 10017
Will Clinton
780 3rd Ave
New York, NY 10017
Mr. Hillary Clinton
780 3rd Ave
New York, NY 10017

http://www.azodchat.com/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=462&whichpage=6

 

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an
evening of Church services when she was startled by an intruder.
She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables
and yelled,

Stop! Acts 2:38!" (Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus
Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.)

The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the
police and explained what she had done.

As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the
burglar,

"Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a
scripture to you." "Scripture?" replied the burglar. "She said
she had an Ax and Two 38's!"

 

Kids humour:

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100." The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And it takes eight
people to collect all the money!"

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything,including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said,
"Johnny,what is the matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."

Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?" The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your dad."

the last one was rather hilarious, don´t you think?

 

Football humour by Ref:

A football referee felt so sorry for a team losing a game that he scored a goal for them. Wimpole were losing a cup tie 18 - 1 at the time and ref' Brian Savill slotted in a volley with 10 minutes left. Earls Clone Reserves still managed to win the game 20 - 2. Brian said: "I volleyed it in and went roaring up the field signalling a goal. The people watching were half bewildered and half laughing. An Earls Clone player shook my hand and said, "well done!" it was all done in good humour. Wimpole even asked if I could play for them next week!"

http://www.hinckleyunitedfc.co.uk/vfts/vfts01-02/vftsoct01.html

------------

A naval boiler stoker goes to Hell. The Devil comes up to him on the first day, and sees him smiling.

"What are you so happy about?" says Lucifer.

"I just love it here. Its like a spring day in the boiler room."

The Devil walks off angry, and decides to get him. "I"ll turn the heat all the way up. That"ll show him."

The next day, The Devil checks back with our hero, only to find him happy once again.

"What now?" says the Evil one.

"This heat is great! Reminds me of a summer day in the boiler room."

The Devil realises that he has been going about it all wrong.

"Tomorrow I"m going to make it colder than a Siberian winter."

He returns the next day to find the stoker shivering and blue, but grinning from ear to ear.

"What could you possibly have to be happy about?"

"It"s pretty obvious, isn"t it?" replied the stoker. "Manchester City must have won the Premier League!"

Oops...

----------

The School Report
Son: "Daddy, I have to write a special report for school, but I don't know what Politics is."

Father: "Well, let's take our home as an example. I am the bread-winner, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mum is the administrator of money, so we'll call her Government. We take care of your need, so let's call you The People. We'll call the maid the Working Class and your brother we can call The Future. Do you understand son?"

Son: "I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it."

That night awakened by his brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parents' room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid's room, where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking went totally unheeded by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep.

The next morning he reported to his father.

Son: "Dad, now I think I understand what Politics is."

Father: "Good son! Can you explain it to me in your own words?"

Son: "Well Dad, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, Government is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of $hit."

----------

4. Q: Name three football clubs that contain swear words?

A: A: Arsenal, Scunthorpe and F*****g Man Utd.

-------------

14. Q: What happens when the opposition cross the halfway line at Villa Park?

A: They score.

-----------

Q: What do Chelsea keepers and SInger Michael Michael Jackson both have in common?
A: Both wear gloves for no apparent reason.

 

The Yiddish Times, New York City, New York
By Herschel Goldberg

New Multicultural special edition of the LOTR Trilogy in progress.

As liberals have moaned over the lack of diversity and the fact that fascist's love the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, movie directors Steven Spielberg and the Wayan's Brothers have joined forces for the remake of Peter Jackson's epic trilogy. Spielberg and the Wayans Brothers both agreed that they wanted to bring multiculturalism into the LOTR trilogy which had previously been declared as a bastion of White Supremacy by many in America's African American, Latino, and Jewish communities.

Reverend Jesse Jackson has called the LOTR trilogy "the Lord of the Racism", Jackson says that the films are racist because they have locked in the idea that race determines actions, idea, beliefs, and ultimately culture. Jackson also complained of the overabundance of heros with fair skin, light complexion, blond hair, and blue eyes, while the villans are portrayed as dark-skinned, with dark hair, and dark eyes. Spielberg and the Wayan's brothers wish to reverse these injustices of White supremacy in the future trilogy.

Political activist Michael Moore says that it will be great to see diversity in the trilogy, and that the broad variety of diverse actors will breathe in new life to J.R.R. Tolkiens life work. Moore also labeled the LOTR Trilogy as a racist abomination which should've never been made. The Jewish-American Harvard Professor Noel Ignatiev, author of the book "Race Traitor" which advocates abolishing the White race, says that it will be wonderful to see so many Blacks and other minorities being cast as leads being portrayed as heros, while actually seing Whites portrayed as the villans for once. Ignatiev also pointed out the fact that only people of color in the entire three part series of the LOTR films are all associated with the Dark Lord Sauron, the destruction of the earth and all of its occupants. Not to mention the elephant riding mercenaries that resemble the cultures of the Arab world as well as Africa, Persia and East Asia and the fact that the the King of Men, Aragorn, a white guy yelled out "You great warriors of the West" in the final part of his speech to rouse the troops into battle in the third film.

But however, Speilberg and the Wayans Brothers are seeking to reform the culturally insensitive life works of Tolkien by remaking and recasting the LOTR Trilogy in order to better suit today's growing and dynamic multicultural world. Spielberg even specifically said that all-White movies are a 20th century idea and that they should no longer be tolerated now anymore in the 21st century. The Wayan's brothers also said that the original LOTR Trilogy will forever be remembered as the "last bastion of White Supremacy" in American film making. Spielberg and the Wayan's brothers both have high dreams and high expectations for the upcoming trilogy, and they both boast that it will be even more popular then Peter Jackson's previous racist trilogy. These three films are set to release in one year intervals starting in December 2006.

The following movie stars have been casted.

The Good Guys

Frodo Baggins- Chris Rock
Bilbo Baggins- Snoop Dog
Samwise Gamgee- Bernie Mac
Merry- Eddie Griffin
Pippin- Martin Lawernce
Aragorn- The Rock
Boromir- Vin Diesel
Legolas- LL Cool J
Gandalf- Mr. T.
Gimli- Lil' Bow Wow
Elrond- Ice Cube
Arwen- Halle Berry
Eowyn- Queen Latifah
Rosie Cotton-Missy Elliot
Galadriel- Whoopi Goldberg
Theoden- Shaq
Treebeard- Eddie Murphy
Faramir- Will Smith
Denethor- Michael Clarke Duncan

The Bad Guys

Sauron- Pat Buchanon
Saruman- Charlton Heston
Wormtongue- Trent Lott

The Orcs will be replaced with Confederate flag wielding White Southerners and Ku Klux Klansmen in full regalia.

The Uruk-Hai will be replaced with Neo-Nazi sympatheizers and skinheads.

The evil tribes of wicked men known as the Haradrim and the Southrons will be replaced with Nordic looking Blond-haired and blue-eyed Germans and Swedes.

The Wringraths will be replaced with 9 ultra-racist White cops who go around driving in police cars terrorizing the Black residents of Middle Earth while also seeking out the ring carrier. Later on they fly around in police helicopters once their police cars have been destroyed.

The movie names have been changed too.

"The Brothahood of Da Ring" will hit American theaters December 2006.

"Da 2 Cribz" will hit American theaters December 2007.

And "The Return of Da Nigga' " will hit American theaters December 2008.

http://www.stormfront.org/forum/showthread.php?t=161493

 

Stormfront, Kai ??? Jeez!

 

To be honest, Za, got it from a Finnish site first....otherwise quite an interesting new version I´d like to see...

 

I divide my officers into four classes; the clever, the lazy, the industrious, and the stupid. Each officer possesses at least two of these qualities. Those who are clever and industrious are fitted for the highest staff appointments. Use can be made of those who are stupid and lazy. The man who is clever and lazy however is for the very highest command; he has the temperament and nerves to deal with all situations. But whoever is stupid and industrious is a menace and must be removed immediately!

General Baron Von Hammersteiner-Equord
Commander-in-Chief
The Reichswehr

http://miljokes.com/a/apr01/210401.htm

Serious Sea Duty
The following tale is from the history of the oldest commissioned war ship in the world, the USS Constitution. It comes by way of the National Park Service, as printed in "Oceanographic Ships, Fore and Aft", a periodical from the oceanographer of the US Navy.

On 23 August 1779, the USS Constitution set sail from Boston, loaded with 475 officers and men, 48,600 gallons of water, 74,000 cannon shot, 11,500 pounds of black powder and 79,400 gallons of rum. Her mission: to destroy and harass English shipping.

On 6 October, she made Jamaica, took on 826 pounds of flour and 68,300 gallons of rum. Three weeks later, Constitution reached the Azores, where she provisioned with 550 pounds of beef and 6,300 gallons of Portuguese wine.

On 18 November, she set sail for England where her crew captured and scuttled 12 English merchant vessels and took aboard their rum.

By this time, Constitution had run out of shot. Nevertheless, she made her way unarmed up the Firth of Clyde for a night raid. Here, her landing party captured a whiskey distillery, transferred 40,000 gallons aboard and headed for home.

On 20 February 1780, the Constitution arrived in Boston with no cannon shot, no food, no powder, no rum and no whiskey. She did, however, still carry her crew of 475 officers and men and 48,600 gallons of water.

The math is quite enlightening: -- Length of cruise: 181 days -- Booze consumption: 2.26 gallons per man per day (this does NOT include the unknown quantify of rum captured from the 12 English merchant vessels in November)

Naval historians guestimate the re-enlistment rate from this cruise to be 100%.

It also marks the only time the Navy was awarded the EPA Award for water conservation.

---------

WHEN THE NAVY was developing helicopters in the 1950s to track submarines, our Florida-based test squadron had to be innovative. Because the copters lacked sufficient lifting power with test equipment on board, weight was reduced by removing the metal skin from the aircraft. The result was an aerial apparition of two rotors connected with a frame of pipes, an engine and a pilot sitting in the open air. Once, a test pilot had to make an emergency landing in a field, and a farmer drove out in his pickup to investigate. He walked slowly around the helicopter and then said to the pilot, "Build it yourself, sonny?"

 

What's the difference between a bad marksman and a constipated owl?

One shoots and can't hit.... the other hoots and can't shit.

 

AT OUR NAVY induction physical, we were handed a lengthy questionnaire to fill out. One section listed dozens of diseases, with the notation: "Do you have or have you ever had any of the following?" An especially nervous inductee apparently misunderstood the question and checked off nearly all the disorders. The doctor, a full commander, picked up the young sailor's questionnaire. "Son, you don't need a physical," he bellowed. "You need an autopsy!"

---------

The 1982 Israeli invasion of Lebanon resulted in many dogfights between Syrian and Israeli jet fighters. In the end, the Syrians lost over 80 planes and had a number of SAM batteries knocked out, while the Israelis lost no planes. Sometime later the Syrian Defense Minister was shopping for weapons in Moscow. His host, the Soviet Defense Minister, was embarrassed about the scorecard from Lebanon. He told his Syrian guest, "Take anything you want - our best tanks, rifles, or surface-to-air missiles." "No, no - you don't understand!" the Syrian replied. "Last time you gave us surface-to-air missiles. This time we need surface-to-*jet* missiles!"

---------

BIGGEST MAN... The biggest man in the Union Army was Capt. David Van Buskirk of the 27th Indiana Regiment who stood 6 feet 11 inches and weighed 380 pounds. He was captured in 1862 and was sent to a Richmond Prison where a Confederate entrepreneur put him on exhibit. Even Confederate President Jeff Davis came to see him and was astounded when the impish Van Buskirk claimed that back home in Bloomington Indiana, "when I was at the train station with my company , my six sisters came to say goodbye. As I was standing there, with my company, they all came up to me, leaned down and kissed me on top of the head."

---------

Submarines are safer than airplanes. Proof in the fact is there are more airplanes in the water than submarines in the air!

http://miljokes.com/a/may01/160501.htm

 

If Santa answered his mail honestly...Oops!

Dear Santa,
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
Yer Frend, BiLLy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a freaking book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
Santa

************************************************************************************
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peaceand joy in the world for everybody!
Love, Sarah
Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa
*************************************************************************
Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.

Love, Susan
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the runs, and carrots make the deer fart in my face
when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of Scotch.
Santa
**********************************************************************************

Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
Your Friend,
Thomas
Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the Casino. Hey! You wanted to know.
Santa
**********************************************************************************
Dear Santa,
Do you see us when were sleeping, do you really know when where
awake, like in the song?
Love,
Jessica
Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in what ever you do. I'm skipping your house.
Santa
***********************************************************************************
Dear Santa,
I really, really, really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, Please PLEASE, PLEASE, could I have one?
Timmy
Timmy,
That whiney begging s*** may work with your folks, but that c***
doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again.
Santa
************************************************************************************
Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our
home?
Love, Marky
Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams, Santa

 

THE U.S. shipping company had a new ship built. It was to be the pride of the fleet, and something special was wanted to decorate the captain's saloon, a large living room/office where the vessel's business and entertaining would take place. Someone suggested that a set of nautical prints would lend a nice touch. He knew of a shop in London that specialized in such things, and the prints were ordered and hung in the saloon. It was not until the trial run of the vessel, when both the builder's and the owner's representatives were aboard, that someone looked closely at the prints. Each was of an American ship being captured by, or surrendering to, a British warship during the War of 1812......

--------

Air Force One
The story goes that Air Force One was over the UK a few years ago and called up a USAF base "Requesting Radar".

"What is you position?" asked ATC

"You got radar you find us" Air Force One replied.

After a few minutes ATC announced "Air Force One we're changing frequency"

"What frequency are you changing to?" asked Air Force One

"You've got 720 channels - you find us!" ATC replied.

---------

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld's Suggested Military Cost-Cutting Measures:
All major ground wars will be fought entirely by Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg.
Combine Army and Navy into cost-effective super-force called the Narvmy.
After battles, soldiers collect used bullets for recycling.

 

A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were
clear; no car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the
windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back.

The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?"

The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler."

"I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker
on the windshield."

The general said, "Drive on!"

The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have
orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker."

The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on."

The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new
at this. Do I shoot you or the driver?"

----------

On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field
and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.

One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"
The tower responded, "Who is calling?"
The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"
The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference.
If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock.
If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours.
If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells.
If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand
is on the 3.
If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120
minutes to "Happy Hour."

--------

Pilot's pre-launch brief off the carrier to his passenger
in a 2-place jet: "If anything goes wrong off the cat,
I'll say 'Eject Eject Eject'. If you say 'Huh?', you'll be
talking to yourself."

 

As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out."

As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention.

The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow. The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh, sir?"
--------------------------------------------
A battalion of marines was on a beach doing a PT workout when the CO of the battalion looked up and saw a lone army ranger standing at attention at the top of a hill.

The CO was curious so he sent a marine up to see what was going on.

As the marine approached the ranger sprinted into the woods, and the marine followed.
Yelling and screaming could be heard coming from the woods, seconds later the Ranger stepped out and stood back at attention.

The CO was still curious so he sent a squad up to investigate.

The ranger ran into the woods and after some yelling and screaming, came back out and stood at attention again.

Now the CO was angry so he sent an entire Platoon up to the top of the hill.
The ranger ran into the woods.
He emerged moments later after sime more yelling and screaming with no sign of the marines anywhere.

The CO had had enough, he sent the entire battalion of marines charging up the hill.

The ranger ran into the woods. More yelling and screaming and this time some gunfire.
Finally a terribly wounded marine crawled out of the woods and reported back to the CO.

The CO inquired "Do you mean to tell me that one army ranger destroyed an entire battalion of marines"

The marine replied "no sir, it was a trick, there were two of them"
-----------------------------------------
Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was
sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door.
Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone,
told the airman to enter, then said into the phone,
"Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message.
In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir."

Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man,
he asked, "What do you want?"

"Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "I'm just here to hook up your telephone."
----------------------------------------
www.military-quotes.com

 

"That's FUBIJAR."
(Fu--ed Up, But I'm Just a Reservist... )

 

The newest Bush joke over here is:

The new Bush peace politics campaign seems to be starting very well. He has visited five countries and so far has not attacked any of them...

 

... YET ....